Kurz vorm Wochenende was zum Ablachen....... (Seite 2598)

[MdBJuppZupp]

Inglisch for Runnaways . . .



Englisch für Anfänger, Fortgeschrittene und
im Endstadium

Thema Heute: Zungenbrecher!

Bitte zügig vorlesen!

1. Englisch für Anfänger: (for beginners)

Drei Hexen schauen sich drei Swatch Uhren
an.
Welche Hexe schaut welche Swatch Uhr an?

Und nun das Ganze in englisch!

Three witches watch three swatch watches.
Which witch watch which swatch watch?

2. Englisch für Fortgeschrittene: (advanced
english)

Drei geschlechtsumgewandelte Hexen schauen
sich drei Swatch Uhrenknöpfe an. Welche
geschlechtsumgewandelte Hexe schaut sich
welchen Swatch Uhrenknopf an?

Das Ganze wieder in englisch!

Three switched witches watch three Swatch
watch switches. Which switched witch watch
which Swatch watch switch?

3. Englisch im Endstadium: (at the end)

Drei Schweizer Hexen-Schlampen, die sich
wünschen geschlechtsumgewandelt zu sein,
schauen sich schweizer Swatch Uhrenknöpfe
an.
Welche schweizer Hexen-Schlampe, die sich
wünscht geschlechtsumgewandelt zu sein,
schaut sich welche schweizer Swatch
Uhrenknöpfe an?

...das ganze in Englisch:

Three swiss witch-bitches, which wished to
be switched swiss witch-bitches, wish to
watch
three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which
swiss witch-bitch which wishes to be a
switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch
which swiss Swatch watch switch.

Viel Spass beim Üben !

[bon_01]

kam letztens im TV :

Warum gehen in Hamburg die Türen so schwer auf?

Weil es dort so viele Zuhälter gibt!

[MdBJuppZupp]

Die eine Sau zur anderen: "Schon mal künstlich besamt worden?"
"Nee, bisher immer Schwein gehabt!"

------------------

Die junge Frau bettelt: "Schatzi! Lass uns doch Urlaub auf Teneriffa machen."
"Das geht nicht, meine Süsse, wir müssen an unsere Schulden denken."
Meint sie bestimmt: "Aber das können wir doch auch auf Teneriffa!"

------------------

Er zu ihr: "Liebling, du bist ein Engel."
"Stimmt, ich hab genauso wenig anzuziehen!"

------------------

Fragt die kleine Lea: "Du, Papi, wie schreibt man Saxofon?"
Der Vater, geistesabwesend: "Saxofon...? Gar nicht... Das spielt man!"

------------------

Zwei Männer sitzen im Bus. Fragt der eine den anderen. Entschuldigen sie,
kann es sein das Sie onanieren? Der andere: Ja, warum störte es Sie?
Nein, erwiedert der erste. Sie müssen jetzt nur Ihren eigenen nehmen
den ich steige die nächste Station aus.

[wotuzu17]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you." The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, "Listen to me, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

"The older alien again warned his comrade saying, "Hey, you probably don't want to do that...I don't think you should make him mad..." He walked away.

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and fired. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

When he finally regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antennas, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He nearly killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a feeler on his crispy friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you don't mess with a guy who can wrap his penis around himself twice and then stick it in his ear."

[wotuzu17]

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!' 'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird' 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you
asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy. ' You really can understand and speak English can't you?'
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse
with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
sports,physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't
afford that.'
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!'
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of
humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..'
'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'
'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'
'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....'
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'

'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'

[Schockmarket]

Schafe auf der Wiese. Sagt das eine: "Maehhh". Das andere: "Maeh doch selber"


Kommt ein Frosch in den Milchladen. Fragt der Verkäufer: "Was wünschen Sie ?" Frosch: "Quaaaaak!"

[Thinline]

Hallo,

endlich, die Website mit Gefühlen.

http://fun.drno.de/404/404_aeaeaeh/

[Kostolany4]

Der Hutfahrer

[HeWhoEnjoysGravity]

http://www.spiegel.de/kultur/kino/0,1518,568453,00.html

[HermanHansen]

Antwort auf Beitrag Nr.: 34.579.025 von Balubine am 24.07.08 15:49:12

Sie wundern sich,
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