Gesetze und Verordnungen in den USA - 500 Beiträge pro Seite

[Joerver]

Nichr ganz neu aber K E I N E Satire:

Deutschland ein Land mit zu vielen und zu blödsinnigen Gesetzen?
Die "einzig bestehenden Großmacht" USA kann es, wie immer viel besser!
(zum Teil sind die Gesetze erst am 1.7.2002 in Kraft getreten!)
In Pennsylvania untersagt eine gesetzliche Regelung, in Badewannen zu singen.

Die Stadt Cleveland in Ohio verbietet per Gesetz, ein Fahrzeug in Betrieb zu nehmen, wenn man dabei auf dem Schoß einer anderen Person sitzt.

Ein neues texanisches Gesetz zur Verbrechensbekämpfung verlangt von jedem Kriminellen, sein Opfer mindestens 24 Stunden vor der Tat entweder mündlich oder schriftlich über die Natur des geplanten Verbrechens zu unterrichten.

Wenn in North Carolina ein Mann und eine Frau sich in einem Hotel als Ehepaar ausgeben, dann sind sie nach einem Gesetz des Staates mit sofortiger Wirkung legal verheiratet.

In Tusla, Oklahoma, darf eine Mineralwasserflasche nur unter Aufsicht eines staatlich geprüften Ingenieurs geöffnet werden.

In Helena, Montana, dürfen Frauen in einem Saloon oder einer Bar nur dann auf dem Tisch tanzen, wenn sie mindestens drei Pfund und zwei Unzen (806,70 g) Kleidung am Leib tragen.

In Long Beach ist es verboten, auf Golfplätzen zu fluchen. Es drohen Geldstrafen bis zu 2000 DM.

In Arkansas darf ein Ehemann per Gesetz seine Frau schlagen. Allerdings nicht öfter als einmal im Monat.

Wer in San Francisco das Auto eines anderen mit der eigenen gebrauchten Unterwäsche putzt, dem droht eine Gefängnisstrafe,

In Carrizoro/New Mexico dürfen Frauen sich nur in der Öffentlichkeit zeigen, wenn die Beine (und gegebenenfalls auch das Gesicht) frisch rasiert sind.

In Hollywood ist es verboten, mehr als 2000 Schafe auf einmal durch die Straßen zu transportieren, dies gilt speziell für die Hauptstraße Hollywood Boulevard.

Wer in L.A. erwischt wird, wie er Motten an einer Straßenlaterne jagt, dem droht ein dicker Strafzettel, denn das ist verboten.

Detroits Männer dürfen ihre Frauen per Gesetz am Sonntag nicht böse anschauen.

In Auburn im US-Staat Washington ist es Männern verboten, Jungfrauen zu deflorieren. Dabei spielt das Alter oder der Familienstand der Dame keine Rolle. Tut er es doch, drohen fünf Jahre Knast.

In Michigan ist es strafbar, seine Frau am Sonntag zu küssen.

Schnurrbartträger in Eureka/Kalifornien dürfen ihre Liebste gar nicht knutschen - es sei denn, sie rasieren sich.

In Little Rock/Arkansas hat Flirten in der Öffentlichkeit 30 Tage Gefängnis zur Folge.

In Iowa darf man sich nicht länger als fünf Minuten küssen.

In Haletrhrope, Maryland, dürfen Küsse nicht länger als eine Sekunde dauern.

In Logan County/Colorado ist es illegal, eine Frau zu küssen, während sie schläft.

In North Carolina dürfen Paare nur dann in einem Hotelzimmer schlafen, wenn die Betten einen Mindestabstand von 60 Zentimetern haben.

In Riverside dürfen Verliebte nur dann die Lippen aufeinander drücken, wenn sie die vorher mit karbolsaurem Rosenwasser abgewischt haben.

Michigan: Laut Gesetz gehört das Haar einer Frau ihrem Ehemann.

Pennsylvania: Ein spezielles "Reinigungsgesetz" verbietet es, Dreck und Staub unter den Teppich zu kehren.

Wer seinen Elefanten an einer Parkuhr anbindet, muß für den Dickhäuter genauso zahlen wie für ein dort abgestelltes Auto.

Ohio: Frauen dürfen keine Lackschuhe tragen.

Tennessee: Es ist verboten, Fische mit dem Lasso zu fangen.

Wer am Hochzeitstag zum Jagen oder Fischen geht, muß auf Sex verzichten.

Alabama: Männer dürfen ihre Ehefrauen nur mit einem Stock prügeln, dessen Durchmesser nicht größer ist als der ihres Daumens.

Alaska: In Fairbanks dürfen es Bewohner nicht zulassen, dass sich Elche auf offener Straße paaren.

Florida: Ledige, geschiedene und verwitwete Frauen dürfen an Sonn- und Feiertagen nicht Fallschirm springen.

Kansas: In Wichita ist die Misshandlung der Schwiegermutter kein Grund zur Scheidung.

Massachusetts: In Salem dürfen selbst verheiratete Paare nicht nackt in Mietwohnungen schlafen.

Nebraska: In Hastings müssen Ehepartner beim Sex Nachthemden tragen.

New York: In Brooklyn dürfen Esel nicht in Badewannen schlafen (!?)

Oregon: In Willowdale dürfen Ehemänner beim Sex nicht fluchen.

Texas: In San Antonio ist der Gebrauch von Augen und Händen beim Flirten illegal.

Little Rock/Arkansas: Das Flirten in den Straßen kann eine 30tägige Haftstrafe zur Folge haben.

Washington D. C.: Sex ist nur in der Missionarsstellung erlaubt, alle anderen Positionen stehen unter Strafe.

Wisconsin: In Connorsville dürfen Männer nicht ihr Gewehr abfeuern, während ihre Partnerin einen Orgasmus hat.......

....Streiflichter einer Großmacht die sich herausnimmt allen Nationen der Erde Ihre "Moral" aufprägen zu wollen!



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

„ Papi, was ist eigentlich Politik ?“
(ein Spaß als Power-Point Präsentation zum Download)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Joerver]

[gholzbauer]

Joerver,
was nimmst du dir eigentlich heraus, über das angloamerikanische Rechtssystem urteilen zu wollen, in dem solche alten, aus Sondersituationen entstandenen Gesetze eben hin und wieder vorkommen?
Du bist wohl auch einer von jenen, die w:o immer mehr mit ihren antiwestlichen Parolen vollmüllen?
Davon abgesehen ist die Sache mit den genannten Gesetzen schon mächtig abgedroschen. Die sind zwar strange, werden aber in den seltensten Fällen angewandt, ganz im Gegensatz zu den perfiden Entmündigungs- und Enteignungsgesetzen, die das Schröder-Regime zu verantworten hat.

[gholzbauer]

Man müßte sich sogar wünschen, Schröder und Co. hätten in den letzten Jahren Gesetze über Esel in Badewannen oder Elephanten an Parkuhren gemacht, anstatt das bekannte dilettantische Gepfusche zu fabrizieren! Dann wären sie weg von der Straße gewesen und hätten der Wirtschaft und den Bürgern nicht so geschadet.

[stonig]

Das fehlt noch, daß wir am amerikanischen (UN)Wesen genesen sollten.

Wenn ich mir den ganzen Unsinn mit den Schadenersatzklagen anschaue...

[xiangqi]

Ach Holzi, wer wird denn gleich in die Luft gehen?

Sind doch wirklich teilweise amuesante Beispiele.

Wenn es wirklich stimmt, dass davon einige (welche)
erst in diesem Jahr in Kraft getreten sind, dann
darf man darueber doch wohl schmunzeln, ohne deshalb
gleich ein Amerikahasser zu sein

Wenn nur ein einziges derartiges Gesetz in Deutschland
gelten wuerde, wuerde das doch hier im Board
als typisch deutsche Regelungswut beschimpft werden ...

[oktopodius]

#3 gholzbauer dir ist offensichtlich nie etwas Peinlich,obwohl es selbst in den USA verboten sein dürfte in jedem Arsch zu kriechen.

[Joerver]

Ich bin enttäuscht. Nur eine Beschimpfung. Das muß aber noch
mehr werden.
J.

[gholzbauer]

okto,
wenn du den Verstand zu benutzen für Arschkriechen hältst, ist das deine persönliche Meinung. Auf die gebe ich aber ohnehin null.

xiang,
dann lies mal, was Joerver in #1 noch hinzugefügt hat:
"...Streiflichter einer Großmacht die sich herausnimmt allen Nationen der Erde Ihre "Moral" aufprägen zu wollen!"

Hier geht es offensichtlich nicht um Amüsantes, sondern um knallharte antiamerikanische Propaganda.

[oktopodius]

#4 gholzbauer,zugegeben ich bin nicht der hellste,aber bei deinem schatten muss ich doch strahlen. Was für dich alles Antiamerikanisch ist ,ist so "Intelligent" wie das Verbot mit dem Lasso Fische zu Fangen,kein Wunder deshalb deine Begeisterung.

[gholzbauer]

okto,
du kapierst es also nicht, auf welch billige Weise Jorver die Sammlung zu Zwecken der Agitation mißbraucht. Oder stimmst überein mit dieser grenzdebilen Haltung, aus Randerscheinungen eines Rechtssystems auf die Legitimität der Außenpolitik eines Staates schließen zu wollen.

[oktopodius]

#11 Nochmal hinweis auf #4,bist du Antideutsch?,was soll der Käse.Nimm #1 mit Humor ,wir haben ja wirklich nix zu lachen mit Schröder zur Zeit,da tut das gut.

[Joerver]

Außer dem ersten Satz habe ich nichts zugefügt.
Ich war in den letzten 2 Jahren 4mal in den Staaten für längere Zeit.
Ich mag das Land. Gerade wegen seiner Unterschiede.
Nur wenn man Bush nicht mag, zeigt man keinen Antiamerkanismua.
Viele in den USA mögen ihn nicht.
Ist Schröder nicht zu mögen Anti-Deutsch?
Du hast leichte Aussetzer, laß Deine Schrauben mal nachziehen.
J.

[Joerver]

Ich bewundere an den Amerikanern ihren Optimismus.
Vielen geht es nicht gut, aber es wird nicht anderen die Schuld gegeben, es wird neu angefangen.
Im Gegensatz zu D wird nicht vom Staat erwartet, dass er ihre Probleme löst, sondern sie versuchen sie selbst zu lösen.
Wenn ich in den Staaten von deutschen sozialen Verhältnissen erzähle, gibt es von amerikanischer Seite nur ein ungläubiges Staunen über die scheinbar paradiesischen Zustände.
Wenn ich aber die Gruppe Wirtschaftskriminelle (Enron) mit einem debilen Vormann nicht mag, ist der einzige Grund der, dass diese Gruppe das große Land näher an den Untergang führen wird.
Krieg als Ausweg aus wirtschaftlichen Problemen, damit haben auch andere versucht von ihrem Versagen abzulenken.
J:

[Albatossa]

Hallo Leute,

man stelle sich vor der Schröder und die Doris treffen sich mit Bush zum Freundschaftsgespräch in Hasting/Nebraska! Und der Gerhard und die Doris haben am späten Abend ein fürchterliches Verlangen nach Sex und der Gerhard hat sein Michelhemdchen vergessen!



Werden die Schröder`s sich an die Gesetze von Hasting in Nebraska halten?






Nebraska: In Hastings müssen Ehepartner beim Sex Nachthemden tragen.

[Joerver]

Das ist wohl die Variante von safer Sex in Nebraska, aber wer geht schon nach Nebraska in the middle of nowhere.
j.

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

Nach der Betroffenheit:
Moslem-Bashing
eine neue amerikanische Disziplin?

1 Seite(n), von Van ( 15 Kommentare )

Ein kurzer Bericht über eine neue Trend-Sportart, die sich momentan in den USA zu etablieren versucht, und die vielleicht auch bald den Weg über den großen Teich zu uns finden wird.

NY/USA - Der ZYN!-Korrespondent für die USA berichtete uns gerade, daß die Amerikaner mittlerweile wieder langsam Mut fassen und wieder Freude am Leben haben. Diversen Berichten und Gerüchten zufolge sollen ja ein paar Witzbolde mehrere Boeings (ja, mit "e", liebe Heiseforum-Trolls) mit dem Micro$oft Flugsimulator verwechselt haben und den von Micro$oft in ihrem Flugsimulator integrierten Anflug auf das WTC (World Trade Center, von den Amis zur Kompensation ihrer nachweislich minderen sexuellen Leistungsfähigkeit errichtetes Doppel-Phallussymbol) mehr oder weniger erfolgreich absolviert haben, in dem sie es nicht ganz schafften, die etwas zu großen Maschinen auf der Spitze zu landen, sondern einfach mittendrin parkten, so wie es Frauen im allgemeinen auch am Steuer eines Autos machen (nicht, daß Ihr das mißversteht, liebe Moslem-Fanatiker: wir wollen Euch nicht mit Frauen vergleichen, Ihr gehört jetzt nachweislich zu den besten Piloten der Welt), und damit letztendlich ein Einknicken der beiden amerikanischen Potenzsymbole hervorriefen. Kurze Zeit nach diesem kleinen Schock zum Frühstück fanden die häufig als simple-minded angesehenen US-Amerikaner auch wieder zu ihrer gewohnten Lebensweise zurück, in dem sie als erstes die Produktion ihrer geliebten Baseballkappen wieder aufnahmen. Diesmal jedoch mit einem neuen Modell mit der Aufschrift "I survived the blast". Bei der dann folgenden Konzentration auf ihre Freizeitaktivitäten entstand passend zu Baseballkappe und -Schläger diese neue Sportart.

Moslem-Bashing, so der Name dieser neuen Sportart, steht in der Tradition amerikanischer und auch deutscher Sportarten. In Anlehnung an Baseball, Türkenklatschen (deutsche Tradition, meist mit glattrasierten Schädeln ausgeübt), Niggerjagen (amerikanische Tradition, häufig mit Kapuzen durchgeführt) und natürlich Todesstrafe und Lynchjustiz wurde diese Sportart von den Amerikanern ganz mit Feuer und Flamme entwickelt.

Dieses Spiel hat 4 unterschiedliche Phasen:


Die Pöbelphase dient dem Warm-Up der Spieler und der Moslems. Dabei werden die allgemein üblichen Beschimpfungen ausgestossen, die wir als allgemein bekannt voraussetzen und die wir nicht in diesem niveauvollen Report erwähnen möchten.
In der Trashing-Phase werden die Spieler gegen Gegenstände, Gebäude etc. aktiv, in dem sie z.B. Schaufensterscheiben einwerfen oder vielleicht auch Wohnungen oder Häuser in Brand stecken. Hier dürfen wir Deutschen uns rühmen, mit der Reichskristallnacht die Anregung für diese Phase des Spiels geliefert zu haben.
In der Bashing-Phase, der eigentlichen Hauptphase des Spiels, können die meisten Punkte gemacht werden. Die Erteilung der Punkte erfolgt dabei nach einem sehr komplizierten Berechnungsschema, für dessen ausführliche Erläuterung hier leider kein Platz ist. Allgemein läßt sich jedoch sagen, daß die Punktzahl umso höher ausfällt, je höher die Qualen sind, die Verletzungen (ganz wichtig hierbei die Sichtbarkeit!), die Anzahl der abgetrennten Körperteile, die Menge des geflossenen Blutes und natürlich - im Fall des erwünschten Exitus - die abgegebene Menge von Urin und Kot.
Während der Triumph-Phase können auch nochmal ein paar Punkte gemacht werden, welche je nach Einfallsreichtum und Glorie erteilt werden. Ausserdem dient die Phase dem psychologisch (zur Erholung für das nächste Spiel) und sportphysiologisch (zur Vorbeugung von Muskelkater etc.) wichtigen Cool-Down.

Die Einhaltung der Reihenfolge und Durchführung der Phasen ist nicht zwingend vorgeschrieben. So ist es z.B. zulässig, ein Spiel direkt mit Phase 3 zu beginnen oder vielleicht am Ende die Phase 4 mit der Phase 1 zu verknüpfen.

Als Hilfsmittel sind bei diesem Spiel die unterschiedlichsten Sportmittel zugelassen: Messer, Baseballschläger, Schußwaffen, Wasserpistolen mit Säure oder Schweineblut, Peitschen aus Schweinehaut mit kleinen sichelförmigen Nieten usw.

Das ständig in der Entwicklung befindliche Spiel hat nur eine Regel, die unter keinen Umständen missachtet werden darf. Eine Zuwiderhandlung gegen diese Regel führt zur sofortigen und unweigerlichen Disqualifikation aller Beteiligten. Die Regel lautet:


Es gibt keine Regeln.

Die Anzahl der Mitspieler ist beliebig und unbegrenzt, jedoch zeigt es sich in der Praxis, daß dieses Spiel gerne im Familien- oder Freundeskreis gespielt wird. Manchmal wird das Spiel aber auch von ganzen Dorfgemeinschaften z.B. anläßlich eines Dorf-Festes ausgetragen. Dies geschieht meist in ländlichen Gebieten Amerikas, in denen der typische simple-minded Amerikaner häufiger anzutreffen ist. Oft werden dabei auch lustige Verkleidungen mit großen Kapuzen verwendet, damit auch Kinder, die das Spiel schon sehr früh lernen, ihren Spaß daran haben.

Der Grundidee dieses Spiels folgend werden bereits verwandte Spiele entwickelt, wie z.B. das Moslem-Springreiten. Hierbei werden keine Pferde, sondern andere Tiere verwendet, die zwar nicht so leistungsfähig, aber aufgrund eines natürlichen Fanatismus hoch motivierbar sind. Im Vergleich zum traditionellen Springreiten werden hier etwas niedrigere Hürden und statt eines Wassergrabens ein Graben aus Schweineblut verwendet. Der üblicherweise zum Barren verwendete Holzbalken kommt hier in einer mit Schweinshaut überzogenen Variante zur Anwendung.

Es ist zu erwarten, daß das neue Spiel Moslem-Bashing und ähnliche neue Spiele auch bei uns demnächst begeisterte Anhänger finden werden. Erste Bestrebungen, Moslem-Bashing als neue olympische Disziplin anerkennen zu lassen, sind im Gange, jedoch gibt es zur Zeit unverständlicherweise noch Unmutsäußerungen aus manchen arabischen Staaten, welche vielleicht durch ein bei Amerikanern und Israelis übliches Moslem-Bombing zum Verschwinden gebracht werden können.


PS: Falls es irgendwelche Spinner gibt, die das jetzt witzig fanden: Ihr kommt auch noch dran, Euch kriege ich auch noch am Sack!


Beitrag von ZYN! Autor / Autorin Van

[Joerver]

Und gleich noch dazu die Kommentare:


Datum Name Kommentar
11.09.2002 Mek hääääähhhäää!!
11.09.2002 mek Häähääää!!! Geil! Sollten sie bei uns auch mal spieln! Dafür stell ich ne eigene Mannschaft auf! *gg*
11.09.2002 mullah roflmao, danke für die coole idee, nehme ich dankend an. roflmao. sehr witzig auf jedenfall.
10.09.2002 =LazeR= loooooool das is echt geil... ok.. seeehr makaber.. und man sollte das nicht ernst nehmen.. aber sonst löooooooooooooool ;-)
23.04.2002 Frieder N. das ist sehr wizig und sollte auch in deutschen stadien gespielt werden und zwar mit allen Arten von Auslaendern!
28.09.2001 von Van Das war echt böse und wohl etwas überzogen!Unreife Kids werden das wohl lustig finden ich fands echt nur böse......
21.09.2001 Theo ..reudigst!
18.09.2001 Martin Gute Story, aber das ist doch nichts wirklich Neues! Außer dass sich die "Gastmannschaft" von SV Neger in TuS Moslem geändert hat. Vielleicht gibt es ja in nächster Zeit das Rückspiel ...
17.09.2001 effess Hexenjagd ist der Urvorläufer von Moslem-Bashing, wenn nicht sogar Neros Christenverfolgungen.
17.09.2001 Ein Österreicher der... ...seine Ruhe haben will & sich fragt, wir lang es bei uns & vielleicht auch in Deutschland noch dauert, bis irgendwelche Moslem-Idioten was in die Luft sprengen! (man denke an die so genannten "Schläfer", die ganz normal deine Nachbarn sein könnten,bis sie zum randalieren gerufen werden)...
16.09.2001 Dark Rayden LOOOL! Jawoll! Genau so isses ...
15.09.2001 Der mit dem Arsch flötet Krank
15.09.2001 GraveD Schön absurd... Aber irgendwie passend
15.09.2001 saul Wär zuviel verlangt sich an alles zu erinnern,doch die Amis haben da mit ihren japanischen Bürgern Erfahrung.Könnten drauf zurückgreifen und schon man vorsorglich Internierungslager errichten.Da hat doch einer in Texas schon Pionierarbeit geleistet.
15.09.2001 defregga wie recht oh recht du doch hast - hass war schon immer einfacher als liebe...

[Joerver]

Geld wie neu:

USA beschließt neue Fiskalpolitik

Die große wirtschaftliche Krise und die Skandale der US-Unternehmen Enron, WorldCom & Co. erfordern gravierende Änderungen im amerikanischen Wirtschaftstreiben.

Nun teilte die US-Regierung mit, dass ab 1. Jänner 2003 "alle Unternehmen zur Bilanzfälschung verpflichtet sind, sofern sie keinen Gewinn erzielen konnten". Firmen die in den letzten Jahren große Kurseinbrüche zu verzeichnen hatten, sollen laut Präsident Bush "gleich noch die eine oder andere Null dranhängen", um die Kursverluste in wenigen Tagen zu kompensieren.


USA

Abbildungen einer typischen amerikanischen Heimkapelle.


US-Notenbank Chef Alan Greenspan gab gestern Abend außerdem noch bekannt, dass die USA "neue, hässliche, aber vor allem leicht zu fälschende Banknoten" herausgeben werden.
Da in den Staaten vor allem in der 55-Stunden pro Woche arbeitenden und CNN-gläubigen Unter- und Mittelschicht derzeit Angst vor Geldverlust umgeht, soll mit dieser Aktion wieder Bargeld in die Kassen der Einwohner fließen.
In den ersten Tagen werden in allen größeren Städten sog. Notfallstationen eingerichtet. Dort wo im Sommer schlechtgelaunte und drogengeschwängerte junge Rettungskräfte alten Menschen die stinkenden Schweißtropfen von der Stirn wischen und ihnen abgestandenes Wasser geben, oder in Zeiten des Terrors Bilder von Vermissten und Zeichnungen von deren Kindern hängen, werden die sogenannten Cashcowboys/girls Bargeld an Bedürftige austeilen.
Für alljene die zu Hause über einen Internetanschluss und Drucker verfügen wird es die neuen Dollarscheine in Kürze "zum runterladen und selberdrucken" geben.

Wie lange diese Scheine jedoch im Umlauf bleiben weiß niemand, denn Greenspan lauert schon mit seiner nächsten Idee. Einige Großkonzerne seien sogar bereit Geldscheine mit deren Logos für Marketingzwecke zu bedrucken und den Konsumenten etwas zu zahlen, wenn sie mit dem Geld einer bestimmten Firma zahlen.
So weit so gut. `Da gibt es aber noch ein Problem mit den Münzen` denken wir uns und fragen in einem Exklusivinterview mit einem Fed-Angestellten nach: "Da gibt es aber noch ein Problem mit den Münzen?", fragen wir Carl T. Dieser erklärt uns, dass in den nächsten Monaten sämtliche Münzen eingesammelt und zu Munition verarbeitet werden, `um das Problem mit den Münzen zu lösen`. Die Amis wollen also im globalen War on Terrorism die antikapitalistischen Feinde mit Kugeln aus Geld treffen. Das soll schließlich dann nicht nur weh tun - ja am besten gleich töten - sondern hat auch noch Symbolcharakter.

PS: Die Sorgen internationaler Experten scheinen Bush wenig zu kümmern. Auf die Frage wie es denn dann mit der Inflation aussieht, entgegnete der US-Präsident: "Inflation, inflation? Hm, sounds like invasion. So it is a good thing, isn`t it?"

Jürgen Marschal | ZYN! Magazin

[Joerver]

Etwas frische Ware für die, die ea mögen. Die anderen brauchen nicht reinschauen oder können schimpfen.
J.

[Joerver]

Hier noch ein Witz. Mehr fetzige Stücke von der Bande "W.Bush and the criminals" gibts in Thread 633372!

George Bush hat einen Herzanfall und stirbt. Er wird direkt in die Hölle geschickt, wo der Teufel bereits auf ihn wartet.

"Ich weiß nicht was ich machen soll", sagt der Teufel, "Du bist zwar auf meiner Liste, aber ich habe kein freies Zimmer übrig. Da Du auf jeden Fall in die Hölle gehörst, müssen wir also eine Lösung finden. Wir haben hier ein paar Typen, die lange nicht so schlecht sind wie Du. Ich werde einen davon freilassen, damit Du dessen Platz einnehmen kannst, und Du darfst entscheiden wen."

"Das klingt gut", denkt sich George, und der Teufel öffnet den ersten Raum. Drinnen sieht er Ronald Reagan in einem riesigen Swimmingpool, ins Wasser eintauchen und wieder auftauchen. Immer und immer wieder...

"Ach nö", sagt George, "das ist nichts für mich. Außerdem bin ich eh kein guter Schwimmer..."

Der Teufel öffnet die zweite Tür. Er sieht Richard Nixon in einem Raum voller Felsen, der mit einem Holzhammer auf das Gestein einhaut, immer und immer wieder...

"Nein, ich habe Probleme mit der Schulter. Es wäre eine Qual für mich tagein, tagaus auf Felsen einzuhauen" sagt George.

Der Teufel öffnet die dritte Tür. Drinnen liegt Bill Clinton an Händen und Füßen gefesselt auf dem Boden.

Über ihm hockt Monica Lewinsky und tut das, was sie am besten kann.

George traut seinen Augen nicht. "Na gut, das könnte ich tun", sagt er und reibt sich die Hände.

Der Teufel lächelt: "Ok, Monica, Du kannst gehen."

[Joerver]

Lieber Santa George!
Von Ariel, seinem Wunschzettel und so!


Zoom .. (Bush Präsident Special)

In einem heute erscheinenden Interview mit der britischen Tageszeitung "The Times" spricht der israelische Premierminister Ariel Sharon bereits Wochen vor Anbruch der beliebten Stillen Nacht exklusiv und in ungeduldiger Vorfreude über einige rührende Details aus seinem Wunschzettel an den Weihnachtsmann Santa George, der sich zur Zeit gemeinsam mit seinen Rentieren Dick, Donald, Colin und Condoleezza in Washington aufhalten soll.

Der Zeitung zufolge träumt der kleine, runde Ariel derzeit offenbar aufgeregt von einem nagelneuen Schlachtfeld auf dem bisherigen Gebiet des Iran, den er schon heute liebevoll als das "Zentrum des weltweiten Terrorismus" bezeichnet.

Derartige Terror-Zentren zählen seit Beginn des weltweiten Action-Booms am 11. September 2001 zu den lukrativsten Schaukriegsplätzen sogenannter Zivilisationen und deren Tutfeinden. Ariel Sharons Chancen auf Erfüllung seines Traums stehen dabei alles andere als schlecht, zählt doch die Erschließung solcher Peng- und Bumm-Areale zu Santa Georges Spezialgebieten.

Eine schwäbische Tageszeitung will zudem noch zwei weitere Details auf Ariel Sharons Weihnachtswunschliste ausgemacht haben. Das Blatt berichtet in seiner morgigen Ausgabe über die geplante Zerschlagung des antisemitischen Terrornetzwerks von Amnesty International sowie Sharons Teilnahme an einem Seminar über außenpolitische Wege aus innenpolitischen Krisen, unter der Leitung der ehemaligen deutschen Justizministerin Herta Däubler-Gmelin .. oops!?

Aber auch für den Osterhasen Bugs Bushy hat Ariel Sharon bereits erste Entwürfe seiner Wünsche parat, doch bis dahin ist ja noch eine Weile hin und weg und peng und bumm und so!

Ben - Gagarama.de

[Joerver]

Da es mir nicht gelingt Macromedia Flash Bilder zu kopieren(kennt jemand den Weg), hier die die Verlinkung:




http://www.gagarama.de/bush-praesident-specials/bush-bomb-li…

J.

[Joerver]

Der beste Präsident seit Heinrich Lübke:

"You don`t need to be smart to be president"
--Republican Congressman J.C. Watts - said at a February campaign appearance on Bush`s behalf. Washington Post, 6/11/00

"I think anybody who doesn`t think I`m smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
--U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

"Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning"
--Florence, SC, Jan. 11, 2000

"Actually, I -- this may sound a little West Texan to you, but I like it. When I`m talking about -- when I`m talking about myself, and when he`s talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
--Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000

"It`s clearly a budget. It`s got a lot of numbers in it."
--Reuters, May 5, 2000

"I think we agree, the past is over."
--On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

"Laura and I really don`t realize how bright our children is sometime until we get an objective analysis."
--Meet the Press, April 15, 2000

"I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It`s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California."
--Los Angeles Times, April 8, 2000

"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations; their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there`s not this kind of federal cufflink."
--Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000

"The fact that he relies on facts -- says things that are not factual -- are going to undermine his campaign."
--New York Times, March 4, 2000

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature."
--Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
--New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

"How do you know if you don`t measure if you have a system that simply suckles kids through?"
--Explaining the need for educational accountability, Beaufort, S.C.,Feb.16, 2000

"The senator has got to understand if he`s going to have he can`t have it both ways. He can`t take the high horse and then claim the low road."
--To reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

"If you`re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
--Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"We ought to make the pie higher."
-South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

"I`ve changed my style somewhat, as you know. I`m less, I pontificate less, although it may be hard to tell it from this show. And I`m more interacting with people."
--Meet The Press, Feb. 13, 2000

"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
--Nashua, N.H., as quoted by Gail Collins, New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
--Pella, Iowa, as quoted in the San Antonio Express News, Jan. 30, 2000"

"This is Preservation Month. I appreciate preservation. It`s what you do when you run for president. You gotta preserve."
--Speaking during Perseverance Month at Fairgrounds Elementary School in Nashua, N.H.

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
--Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"This is still a dangerous world. It`s a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses."
--At a South Carolina oyster roast; quoted in the Financial Times, Jan.14, 2000

"There needs to be debates, like we`re going through. There needs to be townhall meetings. There needs to be travel. This is a huge country."
--Larry King Live, Dec. 16, 1999

"The important question is, How many hands have I shaked?"
--Answering a question about why he hasn`t spent more time in New Hampshire; quoted in the New York Times, Oct. 23, 1999

"Keep good relations with the Grecians."
--Quoted in the Economist, June 12, 1999

"When it is all said and done, I will have made more money than I ever dreamed I would make."
--Source & Date unknown (please email us the source if you know)

"I don`t remember debates. I don`t think we spent a lot of time debating it. Maybe we did, but I don`t remember."
--On discussing the Vietnam War as an undergraduate at Yale, in the Washington Post, July 27, 1999

"Put the `off` button on."
--South Carolina, February 14, 2000

"I did denounce it. I de-I denounced it. I denounced interracial dating. I denounced anti-Catholic bigacy... bigotry."
--Referring to his Bob Jones University visit and the subsequent criticism, Virginia, February 25, 2000

"We believe in opportunity for all Americans: Rich and poor, black and white...."
--From a speech at Bob Jones Univ., in South Carolina, 2/2/00

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor just like you like to be liked yourself."
--George W. Bush puts an interesting twist on Jesus Christ`s proverb: "Love thy neighbor." (Quote is from the Financial Times)

"I would have said yes to abortion if only it was right. I mean, yeah it`s right. Well no it`s not right that`s why I said no to it."
--South Carolina, February 14,2000

"My [tax cut] plan is realistic because it avoids meaningless 15-year projections."
--George W. Bush goes to extraordinary lengths to defend his tax cut plan. (Quote is from a Bush speech in Iowa, 12/1/99)

"The fundamental question is: `Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?` I will be, but until I`m the president, it`s going to be hard for me to verify that I think I`ll be more effective."
--New York Times, 7/28/99

"There ought to limits to freedom"
--at a Press conference at the Texas State House, May 21, 1999, referring to GWBush.com

"We have struggle to not proceed but to preceed to the future of a nation`s child."
--Journal Gazette 11/12/00

"My opponent seems to think that Social Security is a federal program. I believe that money is yours and you should be able to invest it yourself."
-The final Presidential debate

"Down in Washington they`re playing with Social Security like it`s some kind of government program!"
-NBC Nightly News (Date unknown, anyone out there know?)

"The reason we start a war is to fight a war, win a war, thereby causing no more war!"
--The first Presidential debate

"They said, `You know, this issue doesn`t seem to resignate [sic] with the people.` And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates [sic] or not doesn`t matter to me, because I stand for doing what`s the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work.
--Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

"It`s your money. You paid for it."
--LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"It`s important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It`s not only life of babies, but it`s life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet.
-Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I`m for, then I`m for it."
--The Presidential Debates. St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

"It`s going to require numerous IRA agents."
--On Gore`s tax plan, Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000

"I don`t think we need to be subliminable [sic] about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
--Orlando, Fla., Sept. 12, 2000. He then repeatedly mispronounced the word after his press conference.

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully"
--Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
--Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."
--Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000

"If this were a dictatorship, it`d be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I`m the dictator..."
--Washington, DC, Dec 18, 2000, during his first trip to Washington as President-Elect

"They misunderestimated me."
--Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"That`s a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century."
--On the Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000"

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
—LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000"

"There`s a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, `I don`t want you to let me down again.`"
— Boston, Massachusetts, October 3, 2000

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can`t answer your question"
--Reynoldsburg, Ohio, October 4, 2000

"You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
--February 21, 2001 - President Bush at Townsend Elementary School, touting his education reform plans.

[Joerver]

Bush declares war on Earth`s core
Following last month`s earthquake in the mid-west which left hundreds dead, President Bush yesterday declared war on the Earth`s core.

"Our principles and our security are challenged today by geological forces and powers that accept no law of morality and have no limit to their violent ambition," he said during a emergency address to the United Nations, "The lithosphere, the asthenosphere, the Gutenberg discontinuity, the outer core and the inner core all form an Axis of Evil about which the Earth is forced to spin.". Bush also expressed his gratitude for the support his "War on Seismic Activity" was gaining from the UK and other nations.

"Many nations represented here have joined in the fight against geological terror and the people of the United States are grateful," he said.

The decision, revealed last night, to deploy headquarters personnel for an army corps and a Marine Expeditionary Force through the Earth`s crust the were the first significant moves which the Pentagon could not pass off as either routine or simply connected with exercises. It is understood that the long term US plans for the region involve drilling a hole in the bottom of the Marinas Trench and draining the Atlantic Ocean into the mantle. General Spielskopft, in charge of what has become known as Operation Inevitable Revenge, said that the US hoped to replace the magma with a democratically elected rocky residuum.




"Our principles and our security are challenged today by geological forces and powers that accept no law of morality and have no limit to their violent ambition," he said during a emergency address to the United Nations, "The lithosphere, the asthenosphere, the Gutenberg discontinuity, the outer core and the inner core all form an Axis of Evil about which the Earth is forced to spin.". Bush also expressed his gratitude for the support his "War on Seismic Activity" was gaining from the UK and other nations.

"Many nations represented here have joined in the fight against geological terror and the people of the United States are grateful," he said.

The decision, revealed last night, to deploy headquarters personnel for an army corps and a Marine Expeditionary Force through the Earth`s crust the were the first significant moves which the Pentagon could not pass off as either routine or simply connected with exercises. It is understood that the long term US plans for the region involve drilling a hole in the bottom of the Marinas Trench and draining the Atlantic Ocean into the mantle. General Spielskopft, in charge of what has become known as Operation Inevitable Revenge, said that the US hoped to replace the magma with a democratically elected rocky residuum.




"Our principles and our security are challenged today by geological forces and powers that accept no law of morality and have no limit to their violent ambition," he said during a emergency address to the United Nations, "The lithosphere, the asthenosphere, the Gutenberg discontinuity, the outer core and the inner core all form an Axis of Evil about which the Earth is forced to spin.". Bush also expressed his gratitude for the support his "War on Seismic Activity" was gaining from the UK and other nations.

"Many nations represented here have joined in the fight against geological terror and the people of the United States are grateful," he said.

The decision, revealed last night, to deploy headquarters personnel for an army corps and a Marine Expeditionary Force through the Earth`s crust the were the first significant moves which the Pentagon could not pass off as either routine or simply connected with exercises. It is understood that the long term US plans for the region involve drilling a hole in the bottom of the Marinas Trench and draining the Atlantic Ocean into the mantle. General Spielskopft, in charge of what has become known as Operation Inevitable Revenge, said that the US hoped to replace the magma with a democratically elected rocky residuum.

[Joerver]

ER ist der Schönste.
Have a nice war.



Online Poll: President Bush is HOT!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jimmy Wellington

Citing "being really bored" and "Dick Cheney dared me to" as reasons, George W. Bush - leader of the free world - joined the millions of people that have posted their photo on the HOT or NOT website, and the nation`s computer savvy citizens have this to say: He`s a major babe!

Bush says that he never checks his rating, because he "just did it as a big joke". However, an independent review reveals that someone from the domain www.ovaloffice.whitehouse.gov has checked the profile`s rating 1423 times in the last 2 days.


We have no idea how his picture could have got on HOT or NOT. No, really.

The site`s function is so simple that people have been kicking themselves for years, wondering why they couldn`t have thought of it first. Insecure people post a picture to the website, and then rate others` photos, using a number system ranging from 10 (HOT) to 1 (NOT).

President Bush`s current rating is 9.3, however part of that could be partially due to his "pimpin` his shit" to his friends and relatives, using his direct link listed here.

HOT or NOT (www.hotornot.com) has been abuzz for the past three weeks, with as many as 7 people doing a double take while rating pictures.

"I couldn`t believe my eyes, I was all like, `Dude, that`s like the president and stuff.` Joey told me that he kinda looked like a chimp. Then we got high", said teenager Matthew Quentin.

In the past, the online citizens of HOT or NOT debated whether or not comedian Carrot Top had actually posted his picture as a desparate publicity stunt. The picture led to clamors for a new rating of "0", however the rating system stayed intact. Jim, one of the founders of the site explained: "Introducing a new variable that revolutionary would have shattered these people`s fragile little minds."

Ex-Vice President Al Gore has tried to submit his photo for inclusion, however he has been informed that his picture is too large for the site to accept. He plans to increase his diet regimen and try again next month.

[Joerver]

Back in the 50ies


Jerry Falwell: "Masturbation Is Murder


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Jimmy Wellington

In a news conference Monday, noted religious leader Jerry Falwell proclaimed that the act of masturbation violates the 6th Commandment, “Thou shalt not kill”. In his prepared statement, the Reverend Falwell declared: “Every time a person ejaculates from masturbation, millions of sperm cells are released, each one representing a possible human life. Hence, one act of self gratification is the equivalent of over a million counts of murder!” After making his statement, Rev. Falwell opened the floor to questions from the gathered throng of reporters. Here is an excerpt:

Jerry Miller: New York Times – “Rev. Falwell, does this statement hold true to females that masturbate?

Rev. Falwell – “It is my understanding that women do not masturbate. Now I cannot say that I have knowledge of the female ‘naughty region’, as I call it, so I’m not qualified to answer your question, but I will anyway. It is murder!

Jim Lewis: San Francisco Examiner – “So can you honestly say that you’ve never masturbated?”

Rev. Falwell – “Before I heard the call of the Lord, I did indulge in this sinful and impure act on a few isolated occasions. But Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior has cleansed my soul of all transgressions! Praise be to God!”

Shelley Walters: Chicago Union Tribune – “If a woman performs the act of masturbation on a man, like a handjob, should she be considered an accessory to the crime, or the actual perpetrator?”

Rev. Falwell – “I would consider both of them to be guilty in the eyes of our Lord. In all of these cases, there is no degree of guilt, no “gray areas” if you will. They are sinners, and they will burn in hell for the rest of time! They must repent! Turn away from their sinful behavior, and our Lord will accept them with open arms!”

Jeremy Killington: Jacksonville Gazette – “What about the process of nocturnal emissions, also known as wet dreams? You can’t really blame someone for something beyond their control, can you?”

Rev. Falwell – “Well, if there are no more questions, thank you for your time. God bless you all.”

In an attempt to help teenagers avoid the temptation to masturbate, Falwell has funded a program to have sheets of sandpaper implanted into their hands. This way, the act will become something painful and undesirable, and after a period of time the implants can be removed, with no danger of the subject ever wanting to play with themselves again. The Reverend estimates that if his procedures are implemented, our country could be masturbation-free in less than three years.

[Joerver]

Das Leben in der amerikanischen Provinz, diesmal in Texas


KKK Invitation
11.14.02


You are cordially invited to attend the next KKK (Ku Klux Klan) meeting. It will take place at roughly 10:30 pm, Wednesday the twenty-fifth of October. This will be our first meeting since two years past. As you may recall, tragedy stuck when some nigger-lovers started hurling rocks and various other odds and ends at us. Although our white pride is strong, Jimmy`s head is not and he suffered a severe concussion, thus resulting in a two-year absence of the stuff America was founded on: good, old-fashioned hate.

Our agenda for the first meeting is to set up a time and date for our first rally in two years. We should also probably draw out a budget. I know we`ll need wood and gasoline, but what else? This is your job. We will be brainstorming and estimating prices. I promise you that it won`t be as boring as it sounds.

There will also be punch and cake. My wife, May, will make her world famous Angel`s Food cake. I like it because it`s just the way I`d like everything in this world to be -- white. We will need somebody to bring some punch and paper plates. If you are at all able, please notify me immediately. I have cups taken care of. We have some left over from the fourth of July, in which we mourned for the victims of the September eleventh attacks, and prayed that those camel fuckers get what they deserve: death.

After the meeting a brief tactical discussion group will be meet. We will chat about the worthlessness of all foreigners, how they steal our jobs from us, et cetera. We will also draw up a list of all the people we need to hate, and where these people will be located. This probably means that we will need to split into different groups, so be ready to be a group leader -- or at least pick one.

We are now back and ready to fill many people`s lives with the kind of fear and unwelcomedness that they deserve for being inferior to us: the master race. Let us go out and make some "people" wish that they would have never been born, or, better yet, wish that they had been born white.



Jake Merch



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



ONE YEAR IN TEXAS

[Joerver]

**THE CAST**
This is a story with three main protagonists, they are:


THE GOOD GUY:
Prime Minister Tony Blair
THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD:
Bonzo W. Bush
THE BAD GUY:
Mohammed Al-Q`aeda



A simple, honest shopkeeper from Egypt whose righteous fury at the imperialist oppression of the British Government (particularly its refusal to grant him a passport) caused him to found Al-F`ayeda - an Islamic fundamentalist network of noble freedom fighters/evil terrorists (delete as applicable). Hates freedom, democracy, birthdays, backrubs, EastEnders, chocolate, and anything else you and I cherish.


Toni, as he prefers to be called, is the charismatic and visionary leader of Great Britain. A man of deep religious conviction, which tends to manifest visibly sometimes. Toni enjoys a very special relationship with:

Leader of the Free World, Champion of Liberty, Beacon of Hope. The first simian to achieve high office in the United States. Generally conservative in outlook, or possibly "throwback" might be a better description.

Die ganze Geschichte unter: http://www.godsrighthand.org/html/cast.html

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

[/url]

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

Welcome to www.bushorchimp.com!
Welcome to the "George W. Bush or Chimpanzee" webpage. This is a little project I decided to start once I realized how much George W. Bush looks like a chimpanzee. I`m not a member of any political party, and I have nothing in particular against the man. I just think he kind of looks like a chimpanzee. -Bill Feldspar


New!

[gholzbauer]

Deine restlichen Einimpfungen vorerst beiseite gelassen, Joerger, mit #14 folgst du doch nichts anderem als den oberpeinlichen Absonderungen von Mrs. Däubler-Gmelin ?

[gholzbauer]

Das Beste an deinen paranoiden Postings aber ist, daß du deine politische Agenda nach der Bloßstellung um so deulicher zur Schau stellst, Joerver.
Danke für den Beweis meiner Behauptung.

[gholzbauer]

okto & xiang,
ihr könnt euch zumindest der Mitläuferschaft rühmen.
Seid ihr stolz darauf?

[Joerver]

Das schönste ist, dass die meisten Kopien von amerikanischen
Pages stammen. Können Amerikaner antiamerikanisch sein?
Aber Du willst nichts verstehen, es geht um eine Bande Wirtschaftskrimineller( Die Untersuchungsausschüsse laufen noch), die in die Enron Pleite und auch andere Schweinereien verwickelt sind. Und Bush ist ganz bestimmt kein heller Kopf. Die hochintelligenten Aussagen diese Jahres kann ich noch reinstellen.
Aber soviel Seiten Dummheit sind nicht zu ertragen.

Bush said:
"Had I known that the enemy was going to use airplanes to kill on that fateful morning, I would have done everything in my power to protect the American people,
IF I HAD NOT BEEN ON VACATION.
I was on vacation!
OK? I was off the clock! Don`t you remember? Everyone made a big stink over it: the famous "month-long vacation." In fact, most of the White House staff took the month off too. Do you really expect me to act on every warning of massive terrorist hijacking plots when I`m off? Do you keep working when you`re on vacation? So there!

So if you`re really committed to depending on ME for your personal safety, then maybe next time I`m on vacation you should just stay home and lock the doors!

And quit saying I don`t know how to connect the dots! Look:




Das ist sozusagen die offizielle Home-Page aller Bush-Gegner


http://www.gwbush.com/arch.htm

[gholzbauer]

J,
ihr koennt einpacken, denn für eure linke und/oder islamistische Idiologie ist kein Platz in unserer Gemeinschaft.

[oktopodius]

#37 gholzi ich bin unsportlich,laufe nicht gerne,schon garnicht mit,also bin ich auch nicht stolz.Aber dich könnte man Gringo Stolzbauer nennen.

[Joerver]

[/url]

[gholzbauer]

... etwas mehr, bitte ... schließlich wollt ihr doch eure Aufträge erfüllen ....

[Joerver]

Einige Vorschläge aus USA wie man solche Aussagen beantwortet. Ist das so in etwa Dein Geschmack.


The hate mails

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are you `people` unable to decide who is the antichrist? Is it President George W. Bush or David Hasselhoff? Could it be that you `people` cannot decide who to accuse with your slander because you eat shit for breakfast, lunch, supper and snacks? You seem more unable to make up your minds than you are to apply Revlon cosmetics to your craving, buttock area. Anyone with an IQ in excess of 80 can see what you queer assholes are up to by reading the shit you write, eat and recycle on your website which includes doctored photos.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your site, like the hate Clinton sites, are as full of bull-pucky as a site can get. You and the KKK have a lot in common in your tactics and honesty. They target blacks and you target the rest.


Richard C. Gordon
Fish Creek, Wisconsin
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thank God for `W`. Screw you commie liberal bastards, your site, and all that you stand for and conceive.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looks like your boy Clintoon was up to his ears in the Enron mess along with other Dems. No wonder they got so quiet on the subject all of the sudden.

Where`s that smoking gun that hag-lesbo Barbara Boxer was talking about?
And the one Frits Hollings talked about?

Losers.

You people can`t stand having an honest person in the White House.
Bunch of Clinton dick suckers.

Haha - you lost and will lose again in 2004, 2008 and beyond.

Sept. 11th, America woke up from it`s Clinton hangover and realized how much better off they are with Republicans in office.

Maybe if Clinton was more concerned with Osama Bin Ladin than Monica Lewinsky, the events that took place Sept. 11th wouldn`t have happened.

LOSERS!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: Executor
SUBJECT: You sick freaks...

Attention un-American pervert:

Well, it looks like your time is devoted to ridiculing Dubya while having oral se><0r and threesomes with Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. How about you take the advice of another hater of your site and move to California. There you can secede from the USA and form the United Commies of Amerika while we laugh at you. By the way, isn`t your name John Walker?

--Executor


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Whom it may concern,
I do not appreciate the things that you are writing about our president.
Just because your in denyle about the democrat al gore cheating doesnt mean
you have to talk about some other guy doing that. He is a good man trying to
deal w/ extreme things and you should respect him for that becasue we need
him, not another democratic guy thats a pimp and goes and sleeps around.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Go to hell you dirty comunist pigs !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be a democrat is definitely un-American. Read as far back as to when Woodrow Wilson got the Federal Reserve passed and the Income Tax bill passed. Both are unconstitutional if you read them thoroughly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUBJECT: Democrat leftists are anti-American

Hmmmmmmmmm, 85% of the American peoples like and approve of GW Bush. Where does that leave you idiots? The retarded 15%!!!!!!!!!. Study politics, wise up and then get back to me, you dam traitors to your country and enemy sympathizers


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I`m a die-hard Conservative. Don`t send me any more of your damn propaganda. Wise up and be an American, and stop being a traitor to your country.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To Whom it May Concern:
I am very displeased with this website. But it is not the website, it is
the attitude. I see George W. Bush as a man of character and integrity,
and one who looks to God. He knows that`s the only way. I don`t think we
could have a better President for the state our country is in right now.

Thank you for your time


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU GUYS ARE FULL OF SHIT-GET A LIFE OR SHOVE YOUR HEADS BACK UP WHERE THEY HAVE BEEN
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just want to tell you guys that your site SUCKS!!!! If Gore got in, half of the counrty would be under Al-Qaudia`s control. Bush is bombing them back to the Stone Age!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU ARE A SCUM BAG YOU COMMIE BASTARD!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think Zach needs to get a life. The buttons stink! As a matter of fact, anyone who attempts to excuse what Clinton did in the Lewinsky affair by accusing the Republicans of screwing the country loses my support in an instant. I think it is the Democrats who are guilty of sacrificing America`s security by playing partisan politics over crucial issues pertaining to the war effort and homeland security and painting us as a country divided to our enemy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
take me off your mailing list you dumb ass democrat. when you actually know something about politics put me back on.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sheesh...I`m neither a Republican or a Democrat...but seeing how you`re raving one can only perhaps wonder that you`re on crack or amphetamines.....

Things are not as bad as you might try to make them out to be....really....what`s next...black helicopters swooping small kids playing in their yards?

Relax....Go on vacation...Take a breath!

Chill!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Which is worse, downgrading the military, selling high-tech electronics
to potential enemies, getting sucked off in the Oval Office... and relinquishing
control of the country to Zionists (Clinton); or, relinquishing control of the country
to the Zionists, going along with a major terrorist attack on the U.S. by elements
of the CIA, the Mossad, NORAD, and the Pentagon, then galloping off on a phoney
war to secure Caspian Basin oil and Afghanistan opium (Bush)... Hey, I don`t know
which is worse. They both should be tried for treason...
P. S. Sonny boy, don`t talk to me about partisan politics.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR A MORON
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I`m going to be very civil and say that I am a Republican and I think that Bush is doing a lot better running the country than Clinton ever did. If we had Gore in office, we`d be all walking to work, no matter how far it is. Also, we`d be taxed about $15 per gallon for gas for the cars. Why? Because cars hurt the o-zone layer?!? You know what hurts the o-zone layer too? The air YOU breathe out and every human on this planet. CO2 is a gas, so, hey! Maybe if Gore was in office, he`d put a fine if anyone breathed! You don`t realize that the democratic liberals are the enemy and not the Republicans. The Republicans are All-American, want to fight for what`s theirs, and want to administer proper justice. Liberals just want to make life harder with all these civil rights and affirmative action (I am Asian AND a woman and I think Affirmative Action is ridiculous), and on top of that, we get terrorists who don`t care about their lives hijacking planes and killing innocent AMERICANS, and all you liberals can do is laugh and say "Oh well! We deserved it!" And you all go on protesting against the war and want to stand up to save the Arabs. If you`re so hellbent about protecting them, move to Afghanistan and be like John Walker! You saw how the people you liberals want to save treated HIM! All I`m saying is this site is seriously full of lies and is seriously uncalled for. What if us Conservatives made a whole webpage against your "fearless president Clinton" and list all his wrongdoings (his sex scandals, his abuse of taxpayer money and social security money to fund Hillary`s breast research and books and Chelsea`s schooling....oh, also he smoked marijuana, he DID inhale, he`s a draft dodger who fled to Australia during the war which shows to me he could care less for America, so why was he in office in the first place?? Also, the fact that he had Bin Laden captured in Sudan, but let Bin Laden go. If he was such a good president and brought Laden to justice, I`m sure 9/11 wouldn`t have happened. But because of Clinton`s NUMEROUS mistakes, and HE started the recession taking out money for him and his family`s well-being, all the results of his ignorant spending and injustices are showing while Bush is in office, unfortunately.) SO! If I were you, I`d change some of the material you have on here because when you come to think of it, which President was the American Traitor? Bush fought in Vietnam, Clinton fleed. Bush will bring Bin Laden to justice, Clinton let him go. Bush is using money on economic and social problems, Clinton used money to fund Hillary`s breast cancer campaigns (as if america needs MORE), Chelsea`s schooling, the books Hillary published, and most likely prostitutes he brought into the oval office. Did I mention Clinton lied under oath as well with the Paula Jones case and ADMITTED IT?? So, all the things you say on here about Bush, Clinton has done 200 times worse. Sorry to inform you about that. Have a nice day.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One has to wonder who your reading audience or "listeners really are. Any person elected for a mere 4 years to head up a country has barely enough time to get a team built before being confronted with major decisions. War is beyond a major decision in my opinion. But that is not my reason for writing, I am merely questioning the purpose of your attitude beyond a freedom of speech when it is aimed so directly at the basic priniciples of freedom and keeping those principles a part of the real world and not just a theory in a social studies text book.

You would not be a candidate for leading any nation and keeping a nation guarded and safe from those who desire our demise. Those groups of people who have motives to destroy our way of life here in the Americas and others overseas who love their freedom to live a peaceable life must be treated inthe same mannor they treat others. They choose to eliminate others and therefore they must also be eliminated. A very simple "live and let live" concept.

Even if you do not support our US president, and many object as is their right to, US citizens agree to uphold the Constitution and respect the laws and give allegience to our President no matter what his/her politcal party affiliation is, as the president represents all of the US to the world.

United we stand, divided we fall is our motto we hold dearly. Griping and moaning on issues is what politicians and those that can not do anything else with their lives as a contribution for the good of others do best.

We in the United Sates have a president that has declared war on terrorism. I am personally tired of living in fear of what the terrorists, who has allegience to no one and cares only for them selves, will do next to another innocent group of people.

You need to decide your own priorities and principles about where your citizenship can be found. Either you never paid attention in class in American schools. or you never went to American schools, or you have decided that the US is not a country you want to live in anymore but do not have the courage to move on and find another place, or you or like those that only destroy life for others if even in some small way and let life pass you by with your hatefullness and lack of positve contributions.

You writings do show how expressive a destructive mind can be, but I have a son that will go to war soon and he is readt, willing and able to fight those who would wish you or any others harm in any way.

You are either with us or against us, therre is no in between. terrorism is a real enemy and we will win this war in this day. And thank God that those who think at your level are not in charge of anything important.

Good Day,

Cecelia
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUBJECT: YOU SUCK!

YOU SUCK YOU SUCK


YOU COMMUNIST BASTARD PIGS! GO TO HELL!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you fools wouldn`t have wasted all your votes on
Nader maybe you could of got Gore in there, so quit
you bitchin and get ready to shoot arabs with bombs
strapped to them. move to the middle east and whine
you sorry maggots. have some respect for this
country, thank God there use to be good men in the
fourty`s, cause you homo`s would be put given the
CO gas and put in the ovens.

GWB four motre years!!!
Rumsfeld Rules!!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why don`t you move to the middle east. G.W. Bush is the greatest President of all times. Seen his approval ratings?
HA ! If Gore were running things We would probably all be dead by now. I know you are faithful to your party, but aren`t you awfully embarrassed about now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So how does it feel to be in the less than 20% category? hehehe. America, you are either with US or against US. Please perform reality check now.
God Bless you all.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey asshole, its liberal turds like you that are killing this country,
Randy

[gholzbauer]

schon mal nicht schlecht

bitte mehr von der Show ...

[Joerver]

Da sieht man, man kann mit kleinen Sachen großen Kinder kleine Freuden machen, nur weiss ich nicht, ob Dir die Dance-Show oder die Hate-Side mehr gefallen hat.
J.

[Joerver]

Vielleicht sollten wir doch etwas zurückhaltender gegenüber "the great leader" sein. Hier neuste Meldungen:



Bush Set To Bomb Germany
White House, USA - With tears of anger streaming from his eyes, President Bush today ordered an immediate shift in U.S. foreign policy. Accepting some blame for focussing on the Iraqi use of chemicals in the 1980`s when a much greater horror had occurred across Europe at the hands of the Germans, the President ordered the immediate and total bombing of Germany.


President Trembles With Rage

"My fellow Americans." Bush said, trembling, during a hastily arranged Press conference at the White House. "I just cannot begin to explain the details of the horrors that have come to my attention over the past few hours."

The President detailed how he and his team had originally considered the Iraqi use of chemical weapons in the 1980`s as the most pressing reason to seek to replace Saddam Hussein some 20 years later, but with the new information obtained from the intelligence services, a shift in focus of the main threat of terror in the world immediately switched to Germany.


Hideous Crimes

"I just cannot believe the ignorance of these people. It started just a few weeks ago when the German Justice Minister likened me to `Hitler`. Well I immediately ordered my top intelligence officers to investigate this Hitler fellow. I couldn`t believe it. And to make matters worse, the country that caused these atrocities is arrogant enough to bring the matter up and not hide their crimes. I had no option but to act to stop this present and immediate threat to world peace."

Killed 6 Million Jews

The President produced a dossier of claims against Germany that are most likely too disturbing for the average citizen to begin to contemplate.

"Just sixty years ago," The President continued, "these people were bombing, shooting, raping, killing and gassing millions of people for no reason but their own perverted vision of superiority. They killed some six million Jewish people and were indirectly involved in the deaths of millions of others in a six year conflict known as "Dubya Dubya Eye Eye". It sickens me to know that such horrors were allowed to take place, and despite us making friendly relations with these Germans since, with this new evidence to hand, we have a responsibility to act."

The President stamped his hand on the White House lectern and delivered his most emphatic warning yet.

"It is simple. Iraq used chemical weapons against Iran in the 1980`s, and knowing this, we still restablished friendly relations with them in 1984. If we can use that as a reason to bomb Saddam in 2002, then how can we ignore these German atrocities that have only just come to light? This is war!!!!!"

[Joerver]

Da muß es wohl ein Familienproblem geben.



Jeb Bush Announces Foolproof Terrorist Detection Plan


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by Thaddeus McClean III

In response to jokes and commentary on how many of the 9/11/01 terrorists lived and trained in flight schools in his state completely unnoticed, Florida Governer Jeb Bush has unveiled a plan to help local Florida law enforcement spot potential terrorists.

"I know this plan is late in coming, but it took an intense sociological study for us to find behaviors common to terrorists that would not be exhibited by other members of Florida`s diverse cultural population."

"We have notified all law enforcment agencies in the state of Florida to look out for and act investigatively upon the following characteristic: Anyone who uses their turn signals regularly and uniformly while driving in the state of Florida should be carefully stopped for questioning and search. Our research indicates that in 99% of those cases, the person behind the wheel is a potential terrorist trying too hard to "fit in" or someone who used to live in New York."

When a member of the press corps from a major news agency questioned Mr. Bush on whether or not Florida law enforcement officials should be focusing attention on those drivers who do not use their turn signals regularly as it is a safety issue, he replied, "This is not a time for bi-partisan politics! We must stand united in fighting this war on terrorism."

A follow up question by this reporter to Mr. Bush on whether or not he had compromised the effectivness of his new plan by releasing the details publicly elicited a response of, "Oh."

[Joerver]

Auf Wunsch eines einzelnen Posters hier eine Liste der Bushisms von Jan-März 01. Es sind keine Fakes. Es sind Orginalzitate von simian Bonzo:


"A lot of times in the rhetoric, people forget the facts. And the facts are that thousands of small businesses—Hispanically owned or otherwise—pay taxes at the highest marginal rate."—to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce; Washington, D.C., March 19, 2001

"There are some monuments where the land is so widespread, they just encompass as much as possible. And the integral part of the—the precious part, so to speak—I guess all land is precious, but the part that the people uniformly would not want to spoil, will not be despoiled. But there are parts of the monument lands where we can explore without affecting the overall environment."—Media round table, Washington, D.C. March 13, 2001

"But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the—that don`t let people in to take a look and see what they`re up to. They`re very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we`ll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans."—Media roundtable, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2001 (Thanks to Peter Sagal)

"I do think we need for a troop to be able to house his family. That`s an important part of building morale in the military."—Tyndall Air Force Base, Florida, March 12, 2001

"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he`d be asking the same questions: How`d your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it."—Interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001.

"I`m also honored to be here with the speaker of the House—just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I`d like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He`s the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn`t happen all the time in the political process."—Chicago, March 6, 2001 (Thanks to Gary Belkin.)

"I think there is some methodology in my travels." —Washington, D.C., March 5, 2001

"Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open."—Swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman, Washington, D.C., March 2, 2001

"Of all states that understands local control of schools, Iowa is such a state."—Council Bluffs, Iowa, Feb. 28, 2001 (Thanks to Peter Sagal)

"Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector and in the heartland, we understand how unfair the death penalty is."—Omaha, Neb., Feb. 28, 2001

"My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt."—Budget address to Congress, Feb. 27, 2001

"I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese—that meant that they weren`t very effective."—White House press conference, Washington, D.C., Feb. 22, 2001

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.``—Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

"Home is important. It`s important to have a home."—Crawford, Texas, Feb. 18, 2001

"One reason I like to highlight reading is, reading is the beginnings of the ability to be a good student. And if you can`t read, it`s going to be hard to realize dreams; it`s going to be hard to go to college. So when your teachers say, read—you ought to listen to her."—Nalle Elementary School, Washington, D.C., Feb 9, 2001.

"It`s good to see so many friends here in the Rose Garden. This is our first event in this beautiful spot, and it`s appropriate we talk about policy that will affect people`s lives in a positive way in such a beautiful, beautiful part of our national—really, our national park system, my guess is you would want to call it."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 8, 2001.

"We`re concerned about AIDS inside our White House—make no mistake about it."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 7, 2001

"I confirmed to the prime minister that we appreciate our friendship."—After meeting with Prime Minister Jean Chrétien of Canada, Feb. 5, 2001

"The budget caps were busted, mightily so. And we are reviewing with people like Judd Gregg from New Hampshire and others some budgetary reform measures that will reinstate—you know, possibly reinstate budgetary discipline. But the caps no longer—the caps, I guess they`re there. But they didn`t mean much."—Washington, D.C., Feb. 5, 2001 (Thanks to Ehren Meditz)

"There`s no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I`ll never see it."--To Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2000

"I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state."—Question and answer session with the press, Jan. 29, 2001 (Thanks to Tim Santry.)

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well." --Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

"My pro-life position is I believe there`s life. It`s not necessarily based in religion. I think there`s a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness." --Quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 23, 2001

"Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to--I can`t remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that." --Pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report, Jan. 22, 2001 issue

"I`m hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."-- Interview with the Associated Press, Jan. 18, 2001 (Thanks to M. Bateman)

"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that`s responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be--a literate country and a hopefuller country." --Washington, D.C., Jan. 11, 2001


"I do remain confident in Linda. She`ll make a fine labor secretary. From what I`ve read in the press accounts, she`s perfectly qualified."-Austin, Texas, Jan. 8, 2001

"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We`re concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I`m optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know-secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time-that I`ve always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics."-Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, often times, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."-Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

"She is a member of a labor union at one point."-Announcing his nomination of Linda Chavez as secretary of labor. Austin, Texas, Jan. 2, 2001

[dusidot]

zugegeben die USA haben die meisten, aber auch anderswo gibt es noch "dumb laws" od. was andere dafür halten.
http://www.dumblaws.com/

[Joerver]

Es fehlt Germany. Germany has twelve points.
J.

[Joerver]

Mal was positives:


11/16/2002 - Updated 07:19 PM ET




Blix: Inspections will be tough




Blix: Search for Iraqi weapons will be tough

PARIS (AP) — New technologies introduced since U.N. inspectors left Iraq in 1998 will make it easier to detect evidence of Iraq`s suspected weapons programs, the chief weapons inspector said Saturday.

Chief weapons inspector Hans Blix says Iraq will face full might of the Security Council if it fails to cooperate.
By Michel Euler, AP

Hans Blix also said Iraq will face the full might of the Security Council if it fails to cooperate completely with inspectors looking for suspected weapons of mass destruction.

Blix said the Security Council`s unanimous vote to renew inspections of Iraq greatly strengthened his team`s ability to do their job and gave Iraq no room to obstruct the inspectors.

"If there is not full cooperation by Iraq we will be backed up in full by the council," Blix said after meeting with France Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin.

"We hope and expect to have full Iraqi cooperation."

Blix stopped in Paris on his way to Vienna and then Cyprus, where an advance team of U.N. inspectors was gathering. The team is expected to fly to Baghdad on Monday, with inspections possibly beginning Nov. 27.

Before his talks with de Villepin, Blix warned that the inspectors` job will be tough.

"We are fully aware of the difficulties and the uncertainties, but we`ll do our best," Blix said.

Iraqi President Saddam Hussein agreed Wednesday to allow U.N. weapons inspectors to return to search for chemical, biological and nuclear weapons after the Security Council approved a toughly worded resolution.

Baghdad, however, insisted in a nine-page letter to U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan that it does not have any such weapons.

Asked why he thought Saddam Hussein had finally approved the Security Council resolution, Blix said Saddam didn`t have any choice but to accept its provisions.

"He was in a very critical situation," Blix said upon arriving in Vienna.

Under the resolution, Iraq must declare all of its weapons programs to the United Nations by Dec. 8. The Iraqi declaration then will be compared with previous data inspectors have on Iraq.

Blix has said that if Iraq`s Dec. 8 declaration claims there are no weapons of mass destruction, then countries claiming to have evidence to the contrary will be forced to produce it.

The United States believes Iraq has been rearming illegally for several years. Inspectors left Iraq in December 1998.

Blix flies to Baghdad on Monday with Mohamed El Baradei, his counterpart at the International Atomic Energy Agency.

A small advance team will join them to prepare the inspection process. Blix said the team would reopen the office used by the previous inspections regime and would set up secure phone lines, prepare transportation and order helicopters.

The first inspections may begin Nov. 27, and Blix will give a progress report to the council 60 days later.

The U.N. resolution gives Iraq "a final opportunity" to eliminate its nuclear, chemical and biological weapons and the long-range missiles to deliver them. It gives inspectors the right to go anywhere at anytime and warns Iraq it will face "serious consequences" if it fails to cooperate.

After Iraq`s 1990 invasion of Kuwait, the Security Council imposed economic sanctions that cannot be lifted until U.N. weapons inspectors verify that Iraq is free of weapons of mass destruction and the missiles that could deliver them.

Blix said in an interview published Friday in the French paper Le Monde that inspectors have identified some 700 sites to check in Iraq. Weapons inspectors will try to keep the location of the sites secret and provide no notice to Baghdad, Blix said.

He also said an Iraqi delay of even 30 minutes in granting inspectors access to a site would be considered a serious violation.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright 2002 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

[Joerver]

Leider Macromedia Flash nicht zu kopieren( für mich), aber absolut empfehlenswert.Bush und Gore beiJeopardy.
J.

http://www.toostupidtobepresident.com/shockwave/jeopardy1.ht…

[Joerver]

"Do you have blacks, too?"

- Bush to Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso as reported in Der Spiegel. Condoleeza Rice interceded explaining that Brazil has the greatest number of black citizens of any nation outside of Africa.

"I mean, I was trying to get out of harm`s way."

-Our Commander-In-Chief on german TV on his multi-stop flight from Florida to Washington on Sept. 11.

Denial or double-negative admission?:

"The President did not, not receive information about the use of airplanes as missiles by suicide bombers."

-Ari Fleischer, May 16, 2002

[Joerver]

Ein cartoon von Anfang der 90er.

[Joerver]

Eine Stimme aus Kanada


Curious George

Pretzel-choking dimwit or triumphant warrior -- how do we know which one is the real George Walker Bush? On the first anniversary of his inauguration, Washington bureau chief JOHN IBBITSON sizes up the perplexing U.S. President`s amazing rookie year in office. Then he dusts off his crystal ball to see what lies ahead


By JOHN IBBITSON


Saturday, January 19, 2002 – Print Edition, Page F1



One year ago tomorrow, George W. Bush took office as the 43rd President of the United States. He seemed so small.

But for the vagaries of Florida voting machines, he might not have been President at all. His agenda appeared petty and mean: withdrawing from international agreements, drilling for oil on environmentally sensitive land; cutting taxes in a country that is already one of the least taxed in the world. Six months later, his own advisers reportedly were worried that the presidency lacked vision.

Today, he bestrides the world like a colossus. Consider: There are U.S. troops in Afghanistan, in Pakistan and en route to the Philippines. They soon could be in Somalia, Yemen, Indonesia and Malaysia. This week, a reporter asked what the United States would do if Saddam Hussein did not let arms-inspection teams into Iraq.

"He`ll find out," the President replied flatly, dangerously.

This massive intervention in the affairs of other states is all part of a new and ongoing war against terrorism. In the name of this war, the Bush administration has taken apart and put back together the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the Immigration and Naturalization Service and other key agencies, their focus now on identifying and preventing terrorism. It has changed the core mandate of the military, from fighting conventional or nuclear war to intervening in far-flung states where U.S. interests are threatened.

Bush has conjured $40-billion and counting to bolster safeguards against terrorist attack and provide economic assistance to its victims. He has suspended habeas corpus for non-citizens accused of terrorist crimes. He is withdrawing the United States from the Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty, the better to expedite a missile shield against terrorist or rogue-state nuclear attack.

And he seems, somehow, to have reached past the media to embody the anger, the determination and the hopes of the American people. In the memorial service after the Sept. 11 attacks; at ground zero, surrounded by firefighters; in his Sept. 20 speech to Congress, in recent town-hall meetings packed with adoring and carefully chosen crowds, he displayed an endearing ease, an informality, a corny but effective sense of mission.

"They have awakened a mighty giant," he repeats at almost every opportunity. The nation loves it. His approval ratings are still well over 80 per cent. This is an ascendant presidency.

The laws of human nature dictate that people do not suddenly change. At most, a crisis can reveal a man`s true nature. So the question is, Who is George Bush? Is he a small man catapulted into an illusion of greatness by great events? Or was the capacity for greatness latent within him, awaiting history?

How you answer such questions probably says more about you than it does about him.

One of the more pointed loci of opposition to the Bush presidency is bushandcheneysuck.com, a Web site that features games ("Bitch Slap the Supreme Court"), T-shirts (one portrays Bush and Osama bin Laden as "Evil Doers") and famous Bushisms:

"They misunderestimated me."

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it`s some kind of federal program."

The site personifies the liberal response to the president they call "Dubya." Bush is a younger version of Ronald Reagan: simplistic, dangerous and none too bright. (Fine, but how many of the critics have a history degree from Yale?)

For them, Bush became President, despite losing in the popular vote to Al Gore, only because the U.S. Supreme Court irresponsibly, if not criminally, stopped the Florida recount.

They see this past year as a succession of disasters. The Bush administration pushed through a staggering $1.4-trillion tax cut that will gut federal programs and drive the budget into deficit. It withdrew from the Kyoto accord on global warming, signalling a contempt for the environment and multilateral agreements. The President allowed anti-abortionists to sabotage scientific progress by limiting stem-cell use in medical research.

Worst, by far the worst, after the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, the President responded with terrorism of his own by bombing innocent civilians in Afghanistan and curtailing civil liberties at home.

Sept. 11 "gave Bush both a political and a business opportunity to extend U.S. power over ever more of the world," veteran liberal columnist Clarence Kailin wrote. "The major fallout of the present war being conducted in the name of fighting terrorism and for national security is that the country is on the way to destroying our civil rights and legal protections, moving us ever closer to a police state."

His defenders are no less extreme, celebrating Bush as a leader equal to, well, Ronald Reagan.

"He could end up being a great president," says Grover Norquist, head of Americans for Tax Reform. For him, that $1.4-trillion is money the Democrats can never spend.

But it is what Bush could be that truly excites Norquist. He could be the President who brings free trade to the entire Western Hemisphere. Bush could be the President who privatizes Social Security by allowing taxpayers to divert their government pension contributions into their own retirement savings plans. "You do those two things, and you`ve changed the world," Norquist says.

How can you find the truth between such polar opposites? Perhaps it lies outside them entirely. Perhaps its lies in remembering that George Bush hasn`t changed. He possesses all the strengths and weaknesses after Sept. 11 that he possessed before.

He is a President with a strong preference for delegation. To talk about the Bush presidency is really to talk about the tough, experienced ring of senior advisers who guide it. Vice-President Dick Cheney (known in Washington as the "prime minister" of the Bush government), Secretary of Defence Donald Rumsfeld, Attorney-General John Ashcroft, National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice.

All of them would be portrayed as good guys in a Tom Clancy novel. Most served together under George Bush Sr. in the war in the Persian Gulf. Some of them served during Vietnam.

Long before Sept. 11, they believed in reorienting foreign policy away from human rights and multilateral engagement toward tough self-interest. America would do what was good for America. Whether that was good for the world was not their concern.

The unofficial opposition within this club is Secretary of State Colin Powell. After Sept. 11, he won the internal debate over whether to strike swiftly and unilaterally against Afghanistan, or to delay long enough to muster international support. This year, he can be expected to argue against attacking Saddam Hussein, which he believes will destabilize Turkey, Jordan, Saudi Arabia and Egypt and play into Iran`s hands.

Bush will make the final decision. But the working out of the recommendation, and its implementation, will be the task of his subordinates. In that sense, Bush`s presidency will hinge on how well he chose his inner circle.

"This is a guy who likes things orderly," says Patrick J. Haney, a specialist in the presidency at Miami University. "He trusts people. Loyalty is important and loyalty goes both ways. People doing their jobs is loyalty too."

Bush has a well-established reputation for avoiding micromanagement -- any management, for that matter. By Sept. 1, the Washington Post calculated he had spent 42 per cent of his time in office either at Camp David, his Texas ranch or his father`s place in Maine.

The facial cuts he suffered last weekend after choking on a pretzel and fainting reminded us yet again that, war or no war, the man takes time to relax. After all, he was lounging around watching a football game on a Sunday afternoon, with only his dogs for company.

He makes gaffes because he likes to speak off the cuff, an alarming trait for the most powerful man in the world. When a reporter asked whether he wanted Osama bin Laden dead, he replied, "I want justice." Then his Texas twang noticeably broadening, he went on: "And there`s an old poster out West, as I recall, that said, `Wanted: dead or alive.` " The expression contained somewhat more pith than might be appropriate from a president.

He did the same thing earlier this month. Responding to complaints from Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, who leads the Democratic opposition, that Bush tax cuts were to blame for an emerging federal deficit, the President declared, employing his unique syntax: "Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes."

Political commentator Peggy Noonan, who once wrote speeches for Reagan, says the line was extemporaneous. A presidential speech, she remarked in the Washington Post, invariably contains all sorts of good lines that get weeded out by cautious advisers. Bush, she said, has a tendency of restoring such things. "When he wings it, he is telling you what he thinks. His off-the-cuff remarks are his considered views. . . . His vow wasn`t on the cards. But it was in the cards."

Actually, Democrats don`t want to raise taxes; some of them, including Senator Edward Kennedy this week, are simply calling on the White House to defer planned tax cuts, to prevent a budget deficit. It hardly matters. Tax cuts were the most important item in the domestic agenda in 2001; they will be the most important item in 2002. The Democrats are calculating that the GOP is vulnerable to the accusation that it is returning the federal government to the era of budget deficits that America endured, mostly under Republican administrations, in the seventies and eighties.

Bush is happy, delighted, to join the fight. The Democrats want to raise your taxes, he will say (ignoring the distinction of taxes raised versus tax-cuts deferred), but we won`t let them. With luck, he will be able to ride the issue right into next November`s mid-term elections.

The Democrats under Daschle are fixating on the deficit because they are desperate. Support for the President`s prosecution of the war remains virtually unanimous. His education policy -- universal testing, report cards for schools, allowing parents to withdraw their kids from failing schools and receive public funding for alternatives -- had such broad support that the legislation sailed through Congress with bipartisan support.

Democratic strategists hoped that the collapse of Enron Corp., America`s seventh-largest corporation, would rebound against the White House. The company was one of the biggest contributors to Bush`s election campaign, and its chairman, Kenneth Lay, is a personal friend. And yet when Enron was in its death throes and senior executives implored White House officials to intervene with the banks, their pleas went unheeded.

And so the Democrats have changed tack, accusing the Bush administration of practising "Enronomics." According to Democratic Party strategist Jennifer Palmieri, "They cook the books, use rosy economic scenarios that don`t come to pass, they engage in unsustainable spending in the form of tax cuts, and they don`t worry enough about the human side of the ledger."

But this is a Hail Mary strategy. To begin with, the very word Enronomics is hard to pronounce. And polls show that most voters trust the Republicans over the Democrats to manage the economy.

Regardless, little will get done in Washington over the coming year. The House of Representatives and one-third of the Senate are up for grabs in the November mid-terms. The Republicans hope to ride the war and the tax cuts to victory, strengthening their hold on the House and recapturing the Senate, which the Democrats now hold by a single vote.

If they do, then 2003 will be the real crucible year of this administration, at least on the domestic side. Bush will push for fast-track authority to negotiate a hemispheric free-trade agreement, for privatizing Social Security and for legislation that will, among other things, permit drilling in environmentally sensitive lands in Alaska.

In the meantime, he will try, probably unsuccessfully, to force Senate votes on these and other issues, as well as the stalled economic-stimulus package that would accelerate corporate tax cuts to fight the recession.

Finally, and most important, the administration will decide which course to pursue in the war on terrorism. Limited engagements in friendly countries seeking help against indigenous terrorists? Or a major push against Iraq, perhaps Somalia and even, heaven forfend, North Korea?

For Richard Pious, chairman of American studies at Columbia University, this is the question that will decide the presidency. Bush, he argues, is a classic Republican: eager to constrain government in times of peace and plenty, but also ready to employ the "state power," the sweeping authority that a U.S. president can exercise in an emergency. He "fits into the category of presidents who were all of a sudden confronted with huge events and, as they responded to it, the office enlarged to meet it, and they found things within themselves, and they enlarged their own personalities and characters."

At least the successful ones did. The failures were crushed by the accumulating complications of seemingly manageable challenges. For Pious, the Bush legacy will hinge on how the President handles the war, the mistakes he makes or avoids as things start to get complicated. Is he a Lincoln, a Roosevelt, a Truman? Or a Hoover, a Johnson, his father?

His father. We know the President is haunted by the failure of George Bush Sr., who won his own war, then lost the election because he abandoned the right wing of his own party in a failed attempted to reverse a severe recession.

The son would redeem the father. There will be no accommodation with Democrats on the domestic front. Bush will never allow foreign entanglements to distract him from his mission to preside over a lower-taxed, less-governed, privatized America. The means he will leave to his advisers. On the ends he will never compromise.

No one would deny that he has strength of will. That strength is rooted in a genuinely held Methodism. Fifteen years ago, when he was 40, it helped him to give up drinking. Last year, at 55, it shaped his response to the terrorist attacks.

"I understand religion is a walk, it`s a journey," he once said. "And I fully recognize that I`m a sinner, just like you. That`s why Christ died. He died for my sins and for your sins."

Christians of such deep belief despise moral equivocation. There is only right and wrong, as laid out in the Bible, which he reads daily. This moral certainly protects Bush from the nuances of one-hand, other-hand, which can stymie action. It prevents him, as well, from plumbing a deeper wisdom beneath the surface simplicity of right and wrong. It is why so many consider him thick, despite his good education and business background.

"I don`t know whether it`s true that he`s not the sharpest knife in the drawer," says Patrick Haney. "There is certainly a variety of evidence that he is not underachieving, and would appear to be overachieving."

For Haney, the risks that Bush will estrange traditional allies and bankrupt the treasury remain deeply worrying possibilities.

George W. Bush would avenge the terrorist attacks on the United States and wipe the scourge from the Earth. He would lead the American people into a century of even freer trade and even less government. He seeks the legacy of a great president.

If he fails, he will drag his nation -- and its allies -- into a chronic and unwinnable war that leaves the Middle East aflame and America isolated, its economy crippled by deficit and debt.

Now, however, even his harshest critics would agree that George W. Bush may be exactly the same man he was a year ago, but he is a much larger President.

Memories of year one

A month-by-month chronicle in snapshots and words that demonstrate why oratory isn`t exactly the President`s strong suit. (More "Bushisms" can be found at http://www.dubbia.com/) <- Here we are! Woo Hoo!

JANUARY, 2001

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well." (Washington, D.C., Jan. 29)


FEBRUARY

"I confirmed to the Prime Minister that we appreciate our friendship." (After meeting Jean Chrétien, Feb. 5)

"Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector . . . we understand how unfair the death penalty is."
(Omaha, Neb., Feb. 28)

MARCH

"I think there is some method-
ology in my travels."
(Washington, March 5)

"I`d like to describe the speaker of the House -- as a trustworthy man. He`s the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn`t happen all the time in the political process." (Chicago, March 6)



APRIL

"It`s very important for folks to understand that, when there`s more trade, there`s more commerce." (Quebec City, April 21)

"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."
(Declining to answer questions at Quebec City, April 21)

MAY

"There`s no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead." (Washington, May 11)

"If a person doesn`t have the capacity that we all want that person to have, I suspect hope is in the far distant future, if at all." (Washington, May 22)

JUNE


"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease." (Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14)

"I`m so thankful, and so gracious -- I`m gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well." (Miami, June 4)

JULY

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right." (Rome, July 22)

AUGUST
"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the -- in the Middle East . . . to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen." (Crawford, Tex., Aug. 13)


SEPTEMBER

"They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbour in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief too." (Washington, Sept. 26).

OCTOBER

"Mr. Bush said, `So what state is Wales in?` I said, `Erm, it`s a separate country next to England, and he went, `Oh, okay.` I didn`t know what to say." (Welsh songstress Charlotte Church, Oct. 30)


NOVEMBER

"You know, if you find a person that you`ve never seen before getting in a crop duster that doesn`t belong to them, report it . . ." (Asked what suspicious activities should be reported, Nov. 11)


DECEMBER

"In all those tasks, it is worth recalling the words from a beautiful Christmas hymn -- in the third verse of O Holy Night we sing, `His law is love, and His gospel is peace. Change [chains] ye shall break . . .
(Washington, Dec. 6)

JANUARY, 2002

"Mother, I should have listened to you. Always chew your pretzels before you swallow."
(Monday, after fainting and falling off a White House sofa)



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Copyright © 2002 Bell Globemedia

Hier die Verlinkung zu einer Seite mit vielen Macromedia Flash Geschichten:


http://www.toostupidtobepresident.com/index.htm

[Joerver]

Bush Visits Mount Rushmore
(August 16th, 2002) - Some people say it was a UFO,
others a puff of smoke, but one photographer caught what
can only be considered an act of God. Several witnesses
claim a large stone arm briefly and silently raised from the
mountain. People pointed and laughed, but everything was
back to normal by the time Bush had turned around to look.

[Joerver]

WARNING: DO NOT PRINT THIS FILE!
(it`s low res and turns out crappy)
Washington, (August 27th, 2001) - George W. Bush has a new plan to flood the U.S.
with a new denomination of the dollar bill, the Zero Dollar bill or the "None" Dollar bill.
With his face instead of George Washington, Bush said, "This influx of cash will cause
much more spendin` to create stuff that America will use to fuel the paying of that stuff."
The billion dollar cost of the project will be offset because Bush says, "The bestest thing
about this cash scheme, is that people can download the bill fer free off the inner-net!"
Funding for the back side, "Can easily be taken from Medicare or Education." says Bush.

Get yours today! On Windows computers, right click and choose "Save Picture As".
On a Mac, click and hold. Or donate a real buck, by clicking the PayPal button below.

[Joerver]

Sehr zu empfehlen ist diese Macromedia Flash Geschichte:

http://www.bushcartoon.com/zilla/bushzilla.html

[Joerver]

Und nun Holzauge sei wachsam wieder einige original E-Mails zu den Bildern und Geschichten aus den USA:


NOTE: These are un-edited and in chronological order. Responses are in non-bold.
Subject: free speech

i don`t agree with any of your cartoons. i think that the president is, and has, doen a wonderful job since the election was decided. but, even better than that, it is great to live in a nation where two people can hold differing opinions and still get along. because, the situation may change in 2004, right? there is absolutely no need to be upset by the political views of others. the majority shifts with the direction of the wind, leaders change, and the laws are rewritten to suit who is in power at the time. that is the beauty of democracy and the wonder of our political system. so, i say three hearty cheers for the first amendment and freedom of speech. and remember, every vote counts.

Way to stick to one subject and really nail it! Let me guess, you wanted the Angels to win the World Series?

___________________

Subject: you no nothing

you probably think because you are from "New York" you
are smarter than Bush and Chaney but your not.
I think bill Clinton did drugs while he drove (ask the
state troopers in Arkansas if you don`t believe me) If
you new how to read you might be able to elect a
president but you cant so Bush won florida and guess
what the constitution says that makes him president.
my friend carter s. is in washington and he says the
democrats there are all dumb. i told you so. bush
might lose in 2004 because of you...
YEAH RIGHT!!!
GORE SUCKS!!!!!

I "NO" how to spell the Vice President`s last name!

___________________

President Bush deserves more than a day off. He needs the support of those Democrats who are a bunch of
"losers". That is so say the majority of them. They are still fighting over the ballots that the "morons" in the state of Florida didn`t understand how to vote. In my estimation if they did not know how to "read", they
certainly shouldn`t be voting. Thank God we now have a President in the White House that has morals, is
respected by the military (who by the way defends this country) and not another President that lied to the whole country, not once but many times.
God Bless President Bush, and God Bless America. If you don`t like this country, get out of here and go back
to your land of origin.
Peace............................

"It is not the function of the government to keep the citizen from falling into error; it is the function of the citizen to keep the government from falling into error."

U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Robert H. Parker

P.S. I was born in Arizona.

___________________

This is some pretty good Flash work, it is just a shame that you couldn`t utlize your skills for something more productive than this GARBAGE.


Let`s say like SUPPORTING AMERICA INSTEAD OF ATTACKING IT!

When G.W. Bush was selected President, I felt I had seen a great injustice done. I decided to try and make a difference bigger than my vote ... which didn`t make a difference. I support the majority of Americans that didn`t want Bush in office; and I may be a bit biased, living in New York City, but things seemed much better when Clinton was President. I am a partisan cartoonist, but make no mistake, I love America.

___________________

Subject: Good Ole Boys

Thanks. You just made George and Cheney the coolest guys that have ever been in the White House.

Drunken, cheating, rednecks with total disregard for foreign policy? Is that cool? I sure hope it`s not my fault that`s cool.

RE: Good Ole Boys

I see you chose to use the `r` (redneck) word. Why might I ask is it ok for everyone to use the `r` word but not nigger, kike, jewboy,etc. I think what you did is a hate crime. Boohoo, where`s my lawyer.

Blame Jeff Foxworthy.

RE: Good Ole Boys

Will do. I`ll also bame Richard Pryor for some of the other.

I blame the people you support. Richard Pryor didn`t invent those words. White men invented those words. All of them. I wont post here the Condfederate group you claim to belong to. You deserve no credit.

As a white, American man, people like you make me look bad. You should be ashamed of yourself. Your ancestors, like mine, were imigrants. Just be happy to be here.

___________________

What does the phrase "Right to bear Arms" mean to you? If you take it to mean we all get to keep our arms, the things that hang from our shoulders, why then you`re dumber than most. But if you read it to mean the right to bear firearms (arms is short for "firearms," boys and girls), than the Bill of Rights clearly grants on citizens of the U.S. of A. the right to own "guns."

I think your Flash animation of Bush and Cheney is well-done, but the part devoted to the ballot situation is misguided. I`m sure you`ve read that every single independant recount (various media and private organizations) of the Florida ballots shows that Bush/Cheney would have won by an even larger margin had a total recount been performed. Nobody can save people from their own stupidity, and it seems Democrats in Florida are loaded with it.

First of all, I own "guns". Don`t get me wrong, I think you should be able to have "guns". Should you be able to have a .50 Cal. sniper rifle? That`s another issue. If you think the word "arms" in the Second Amedment is short for firearms you are mistaken my friend. Certainly when it was written, nobody even knew what nuclear "arms" were. Arms are as broad a term as "weapons" and does not specifically apply to guns. Even if it did, the "firearms" of the time are not comparable to an AK-47 today. We all agree there should be limits. You wouldn`t want your neighbor to have a right to own Anthrax, would you?

In regards to the 2000 election, I have read several media reports about it. You should do some reading about the reasons votes were considered either countable or not countable yourself. I assure you that intelligence is not a factor when it comes to mechanical error. Thousands of votes that clearly were "intended" votes for Gore were not counted because the hand count was stopped, yet Bush signed laws in Texas advocating hand counts. There is one thing there is no dispute about though ... over 500,000 more Americans voted for Gore.

___________________

Dear Ignorant Leftists,


Bush (43) is a dumb redneck Confederate Flag waving inbred yokel...

That`s so inventive.

Did this site come to you during anal sex?

Or while you were touching little boys on the playground.

See, isn`t this fun, ignorant slams without facts to back them!

I love the lowest common denominator!

You Marxists are so predictable. I`m sure Condeleeza Rice (the first woman
and first Black to be appointed to National Security Advisor) appreciates the
insinuation that she works in a White House that is in the pocket of the KKK.

I`m surprised that SHEEPle as ignorant as you and those who helped you with
this "intolerant", and "hateful" site are this organized!

I hope my tax dollars did not contribute, directly or indirectly to this site.

Grow up!

tha malcontent
[e-mail]

I was going to go with, "As a matter of fact the idea did come to me during anal sex.
Your sister liked the idea too." but this one almost deserves a real reply. This email
shows exactly what scares me about the right wing. My humor, and my right to
free speech is so offensive to them that they can only reply with moronic insults
backed with almost no facts. Then they turn the table on themselves and expose
how hypocritical they really are. The Bible says "Thou shalt not kill." and not,
"...unless we convict them in a court of law." The death penalty is a good thing to
them, but stem cell research is murder. Websites like BushCartoon.com, well
they must be stopped at all costs. And even though nowhere in the Constitution,
or its Amendments, will you find the word "guns", you better not tell these people
they can`t own an assault rifle; you might just get shot.

___________________


You know, liberals are really stupid (Yeah, I know you know.) Their the
only ones riding down the street with 2 bumper stickers...one says "save the
whales"...and the other says pro-choice. That`s enough for me.
It`s also so funny; the Dumocraps can tell me that I`m not responsible
enough to own a gun...and have all sorts of "Big Brother" laws...but it`s a
woman`s right to do what she wants with her body.
Also, except for a few old fashioned "conservative" Democrats, you can
classify all others in one of the following catagories...
Atheists...AKA I can`t see the light loosers.
Homos...AKA Fudgepackers, Terdburglars, etc...
Wacko Environmentalists...AKA I`m rich and famous, own a 10,000sq. ft. home,
have tons of fur coats, drive a big gas guzzlin Hummer...but I really want to
stop tuna fishing because sometimes (note the very rare sometimes,) they
catch a dolphin.
Minorities...AKA Either I don`t speak enough English to understand how to
punch a voting slip, or I`m just way to stupid to figure out that the
Democrats lure me in with low-income goodies, then tax me 3-fold so that I
can`t ever achieve anything in life because I`m stuck in a rut. Aren`t they
so nice.
Pro-Choice...AKA I`m probrobly a whore. (As for rape...we all know abortion
should be legal; as well as incest...which is where most of you people come
from. Rape and incest have been used as pro-choice mottos for years. Most
Conservatives feel the same way when it comes to this. It`s just the other
idiots like yourself.) I`ve never been loved...or worse maybe abused. I`m
only worried about myself...really...why else would I KILL MY OWN CHILD!
I think that`s about it. Most other partially to mainly normal people with
2% intelligence are conservative (Republican.) So, where do you fit in?


P.S. I dare you to post this e-mail in entirety.

Later loosers...Kilroy

Good dare. I dare you to go back to school. You have schools where you live, right?

___________________


SUBJECT: your intelligence level

You`ve got to be a liberal puke so your excretions have no validity whatsoever. Stick it up yours socialist.

I don`t own any socialists, but even if I did....

__________________

Is Bush the ideal candidate for President?
No.
However if you prefer Al Gore or Bill Clinton then I can arrive at but one
conclusion.
You are a Liberal sucking scum and I hope you fucking rot in the Earth.

Ok. As long as we both agree that Bush shouldn`t be President.

___________________

You suck. We had to take eight years of Bill and the Bitch...now you get to sit back and let "W" restore some dignity and respectability to our nation.

If you hate Bush so much, why don`t you send me your tax rebate check? Ass!

Will it go toward the massive debt rung up during the Reagan years or your SUV payment?

P.S. It wasn`t a rebate. It was an advance.

___________________


Dear Sirs,


I really think your time could be better spent. This country is in a sad state when we toss God out of schools and let the homosexuals rule. The Ten Commandents are out. We condemn murder out of one side of our mouth and allow thousands of babies to be murdered daily. Such hypocrisy!!!!


Try a few cartoons about babies crying because they are dying.


Thank you

The Ten Commandments are out? Man....and I have been waiting for these for what seems like forever.

___________________

Texas was not part of the confederate states, it has not and does not fly a stars and bars at the state capitol A woman has the choice of staying out of bed. Clinton had the choice of keeping his pants on if he wanted to avoid embarrassing his party and making it impossible for his buddy Al Gore to even have a chance at running for president. Please take the tax refund that you will receive this fall and mail it back to the government or to your political party but for God`s sake DO NOT SPEND IT ON YOUR SELF!! The government can decide much better than you as to how this (their) money can and should be spent!

Wait...I thought it was my money....and I was overcharged. My bad. Perhaps I owe Clinton some new pants.
P.S. Texas was the 6th state to secede from the Union.

___________________

You really are the GARBAGE MAN.
PRESIDENT BUSH IS TRYING TO DO WHAT`S BEST FOR THE COUNTRY, AND STOP FAILED PROGRAMS. CLINTON-GORE PROGRAMS RESULT 63% OF 4th. GRADERS CAN`T READ!

Sorry, you are right. With a role model like G.W. our kids will understand how important it is to put food on themselves.

___________________

BUSH WON...GET OVER IT

And I still say that Wycheck pass to Dyson was a lateral. This is just a LITTLE more serious than that.

___________________

Cant stand it can you. Even the recounts by the media showed that Bush won. What`s your problem?

I can stand it. Having a blast with this, really. No problem at all.

___________________

It is amazing to me that somebody pays you people, or you are allindependently wealthy enough, to waste your time running such a stupid website. Perhaps the Democratic National Committee picks up your salaries?

Somebody is paying us???? Yeeeehawwwww!!!! News to me!

___________________

Woman do have the right to choose. They didn`t need any help deciding if they should have sex or not! Now they want to excercise a right that involves killing innocent lives!

Should McVeighbe able to decide if he lives or not? No, he made his choice when he killed innocent people. If we would get advice and make the right decisions first...we wouldn`t have to suffer the consiquences. Of course suffer and consequences are two foreign words in our society. Heaven forbid that anyone should be held accountable for their actions.

Uhhhh....apparently McVeigh did make a choice. Also, ever heard of rape? Not really a choice there.

___________________

It is interesting that you feel the way you do. If you Mom had aborted you, I wouldn`t have to look at this rediculous cartoon.

You didn`t have to look at it in the first place.

___________________

The cartoons gave me a few laughs however, I would much rather have Luke and Bo Duke in the Whitehouse than Boss Hog or Rosco.

I think you guys would also...

I`d take any of them over Bush.

___________________

When men/fathers have a choice, then maybe I`ll support a woman`s choice.

The problem with a lot of men, they`re fighting for the wrong things. You`re just another wimp that is lost on the wrong side. Your last line should read, "Support the right for a MAN to make a choice. Its half his."

By the way; I bet you`re a "sensitive" guy too.

It`s not your body. But yeah... maybe I should try shaving gel instead of soap.

[Joerver]

ENRON`S END RUN
The Bush White House`s Brewing Scandal
By Sander Hicks

The Washington Post once referred to Kuwait as an "oil company with a flag." Perhaps this is what the Bush White House once thought the USA should be. This administration was intimate with the Enron Corporation, now in ruins of potential scandal and alleged fraud. This slowly emerging scandal leaves us with questions, but one thing`s for certain: L`Affaire Enron will build and haunt the White House for years to come. The Senate`s newly announced investigation has a lot of work ahead of it. Will the White House survive intact? Will it sacrifice key officials to appease a Special Prosecutor?

Welcome to Enron, the biggest corporate disaster of recorded history.

When Enron filed for Chapter 11 on 2 December 2001, 4,500 of its employees were unceremoniously relieved. At its peak, Enron stock`s total value was $70 billion, capital many people relied on in their retirement plan investments. Today, the total loss in equity value is hard to gauge, because before throwing in the towel, Enron was forced in November to restate its real earnings for years 1997, 1998, and 1999. Enron had hidden a lot of debt in "special purpose vehicles," that is, front companies it created to hide losses off the books, so its previous earnings reports were meaningless.

Like the dot-coms, a lot of Enron`s value as a business was based on the "trust" that people placed in it, as it traded intangible bits of risk in its myriad of speculative trades in energy. When that trust was lost, a lot of people got burned. Today, Enron faces two Congressional investigations, a high profile Senate inquiry, a class action lawsuit from angry shareholders, and the threat of a suit from the General Accounting Office. The union bank Amalgamated is already on the warpath. They are suing on behalf of the pension funds damaged by Enron`s $70 billion implosion.

The fiasco`s intimacy with Bush may bode badly for the President`s future. The White House and Enron have at times seemed interchangeable, both financially and politically. Vice President Dick Cheney and Bush`s ruthless campaign advisor Karl Rove have consulted Enron Chair Ken Lay on energy policy. Lay`s suggestions to Rove on government appointments were followed. Enron and the White House have shared a revolving door of personnel: five former Enronians work in the White House and Cabinet. (Secretary of the Army Thomas E. White was a Vice Chairman; Economic Adviser Lawrence Lindsey and U.S. Trade Representative Robert Zoellick were both advisors; and Senior Staffers Karl Rove and Lewis "Scooter`` Libbey owned a serious amount of Enron stock.)

And of course, the flow of money since the Reagan years has been colossal and reciprocated. Enron donated almost $2.4 million to federal candidates, and $2 million to Bush alone. They were in turn rewarded with legislation that allowed them to profit off the deregulation of state-run power industries. Enron has made contributions to 71 of 100 U.S. Senators and about half of congress. Enron is the number one career contributor to President George W. Bush.

On Thursday, 3 January 2002, the Senate Government Affairs Committee, headed by possible Presidential hopeful Joe Lieberman, announced it would launch a serious investigation into just how much Enron was affecting decisions in the executive branch. It was high time. Congressman Henry Waxman (D-CA) has been asking Cheney and advisor Karl Rove for these answers for six months and he has been treated like an unwanted guest at a wedding. On 8 January, the White House announced that the meetings with Enron had indeed been extensive. As part of Cheney`s Energy Task Force, the White House admitted Enron executives had visited "six times." But with the stubbornness of a Richard Nixon, Cheney still refused to release the complete attendance lists for all meetings of his Energy Task Force.

Comparisons to Teapot Dome and Watergate are not untoward. The media is beginning to feel the symbolic importance of Bush`s Enron scandal. The Nation and the United Kingdom`s Indpendent on Sunday both recently suggested we are seeing Enron becoming Bush`s albatross. Both called it a "cancer on the presidency," a phrase that recalls John Dean`s early warning to President Nixon.

Bush is already suffering at the polls, the approval ratings that used to enjoy the low 90s sank to 80%, according to CNBC on January 18th. Is the loss of over 10 points of approval the beginning of a slide? Analysts have been pointing out that not capturing Osama bin Laden might come back to haunt the administration, just as the deliberate sparing of Saddam Hussein was partly responsible for Bush Sr.`s defeat following the Gulf War. Poll experts point out that wartime presidents usually experience a return to pre-war approval ratings eight months after a war`s peak. Just as the May 2002 midterm elections heat up in congress, Bush might not be able to help fellow Republicans keep the House.

Die ganze Geschichte unter:

http://sanderhicks.com/articles/enron1.html

[Joerver]

Diskussionsforum der Seite:
http://www.bartcopnation.com/cgi-bin/dcforum/dcboard.cgi

[Joerver]

Thanks to our readers who sent us this revealing shot of George II...

...with his blinders on!





Ein Mann mit Weitblick!

[Joerver]

The Secret Iraq Attack Resolution
revealed exclusively David Marsden

Nov. 11, 2002 -- BARUBA (asticles.com) -- If you can (stay awake long enough) plough through the released official daft (why it took 6 weeks) draft resolution then read the version they don`t want you to see.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"At the end of the day we`ll never get a more level playing field or better window of opportunity. Let`s roll."
-- High ex-Halliburton crack CEO

(Ejaculation before 8 November 2052 prohibited.)

United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and United States of America:

Top secret resolution:

[Adopted Secretly and Resolutely as Resolution 1442 at Security Council meeting 4645, 8 November 2002]

The Security Council,

Recognizing the threat Iraq`s non-compliance with Council resolutions and proliferation of weapons of mass destruction and long-range missiles poses to international peace and security provides a perfect excuse and unique opportunity for the oppressed shareholders and battered CEO`s of Exxon-Mobil, Shell, BP, Nesquik, Tampax, Viagra, Snapple, Halliburton, Enron, WorldCom, Harken, Russia, France, Syria, Mexico, Israel and China and Harvey Pitt to fulfil their wildest fantasies of wealth beyond their wildest wet dreams.

a) Whereas Russia understandably does not want to lose a cent of the $10 billion currently owed by Saddam`s Iraq or the $5 billion invested by GazNostril Petroleum Crude Consortium (owned jointly by the Russian state and Anastasia Alexandrovitch Putin) for future exclusive Iraq drilling rights when we hang and quarter Saddam by his feet in Basra in prime time during `Sweeps Week` in February before flying him to Guantanamo Bay manacled to the propellers of a C-130:

The United States promises to pay Russia (or someone trading under the name of Anastasia Alexandrovitch Putin and able to prove it with a valid passport or photo ID in Liechtenstein or Antigua) a sum of not more than $10 billion in cash and $5 billion in kind in return for moral support of clinical smart bomb strikes against residential districts of Baghdad and exclusive rights for Exxon-Mobil to get first refusal on all crude that crude and/or refined Mother Russia passes through her lukewarm-water ports of entry until 2052 (see map)

b) Whereas France understandably does not want to lose a cent of the $5 billion currently invested by the Totalement Crude Petroleum Consortium (owned jointly by the French state and Virginié Catherine Deneuve Chirac) for future exclusive Iraq drilling rights in Iraq when we hang and quarter Saddam by his feet in Basra . etc., etc., etc., etc:

The United States promises to pay France (or someone trading under the name of Virginié Catherine Deneuve Chirac and able to prove it with a valid passport or picture ID in Monaco or the Caymans) a sum of not more than $5 billion in cash in return for moral support of clinical smart bomb strikes against Baghdad and Basra children`s hospitals and orphanages and exclusive rights for Texaco-Getty executives to get first refusal on all crude activities going-on in an around French Riviera warm-water ports until 2052 (see map)

Further France promises to immediately cease and desist bombing McDonald`s Fast & Regurgitated Food restaurants on French soil and Greenpeace ships anywhere and hands-over for shipment to Guantanamo Bay strapped to the propellers of C-130`s all anti-American Culture anarchists and Jerry Lewis fans.

c) Whereas Great Britain has the worst school, hospital and royal family system in the European Union this doesn`t prevent the United States thanking the British people for their unstinting and uncomplaining slavishness as long as they get to download the US version of Microsoft`s Internet Explorer.

d) Whereas Syria was commonly accepted as a leading charter member of the original genuine "Axis of Evil" cabal and principal financial backer of Hezbollah and inviolate home base for the Intifada and Israel`s most sworn-at and reviled enemy until 3:37pm Syrian Pacific Daylight Time last Thursday when self-anointed President Bashar al-Assad acceded to the following incontrovertible demands and promises.

The United States of America guarantees the same self-anointed President Bashar al-Assad exclusive importation, distribution and sales rights throughout the Middle East (excluding Saudi Arabia), Africa and Central Asia for a variety of nifty US and British Personal Care and Genetically-Manipulated Foodstuffs including, but not restricted to Nesquik, Nescafe, Tampax, Playtex, Snapple, Nike and Heinz` 57 Varieties.

The United States also promises to pay Syria (or someone trading under the name of the Plenipotentiary of the same self-anointed President Bashar al-Assad and able to prove it with a valid passport or picture ID in The Turcs and/or Caicos) a sum of not more than $3 billion in cash in return for moral support of clinical smart bomb strikes against Baghdad and Basra mosques during Ramhadan and exclusive rights for National Rifle Association executives to get first refusal on all crude weapons of mass destruction sales when Palestine finally drives Israel up the Golan Heights in 2176 (see map).

We have to hurry to get this over before the hot dry season so let`s be brief.

e) China will receive Most Favoured Nation exemption for exporting pirated software to their hearts` desire.

f) Mexico and the Mexican border will be excluded from the hovering weapons of mass destruction and hidden-camera North American Free Trading Pentagon Drone Zone. Thereby allowing for a continued free and unhindered flow of weatherproof plastic bags and weathered immigrants in both directions (mainly northerly.)

g) Israel -- and God bless their brave little hearts -- will continue to get a free pass.

h) And Baruba will continue to welcome rich or impoverished ex-CEO`S and their 23-year-old plastic surgery enhanced trophy partners as long as there is land enough, electricity enough for secure high electrified razor-wire and fuel to power the earth moving equipment to bulldoze 23-hole golf courses so help us.

Signed and sealed on this day of whatever Lord you wish to invoke:

United Nations Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission

The Executive Chairman

International Atomic Energy Agency






Copyright © 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications, Inc.

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

Published Tuesday, November 19, 2002




Bush: New Countries Will Refresh NATO


By WILL LESTER
Associated Press Writer
WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush says the addition to NATO of former members of the Soviet bloc will bring new life to the trans-Atlantic alliance because totalitarian rule taught their people the value of freedom.

Moscow claimed as full Soviet republics three of the soon-to-be NATO members, the Baltic states Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. Bulgaria, Romania and Slovakia were tied to the Soviet Union through the Warsaw Pact, the Kremlin-dominated alliance signed in 1955 to counter the U.S.-led North Atlantic Treaty Organization formed six years earlier. Slovenia also is to be admitted.

Former pact members Czech Republic, Poland and Hungary joined NATO in 1999.

"The Warsaw Pact doesn`t exist," Bush said Monday. "As a matter of fact, the Warsaw Pact is becoming NATO, slowly but surely," he said in a Radio Free Europe interview.

The president is leaving Tuesday for Prague, the Czech Republic`s capital, for a summit of leaders of the 19 NATO nations. He will also visit Russia and prospective NATO members Lithuania and Romania on the five-day trip.

Bush said Monday he`ll assure Russia`s president this week that Russia "has nothing to fear" from a NATO expanded into territory once claimed by the Soviet Union. Bush also said the alliance will play an increasing role in tracking down international terrorists.

After the Prague meeting, Bush flies to President Vladimir Putin`s hometown of St. Petersburg for his second visit in a year.

"I`m going to Russia to make it clear to Russia and to Vladimir Putin they have nothing to fear from NATO expansion, ... to explain why I think it`s a positive development," Bush said.

Previewing the trip with a round-table interview with eastern European reporters, Bush said: "Russia is not a threat, and therefore the military strategies of NATO need to be changed to recognize that new reality."

On Iraq, Bush promised to consult with allies over possible strikes, even though the United States is not seeking NATO`s direct help to confront Iraqi President Saddam Hussein.

"The NATO alliance understands this issue," Bush said. "One way or the other, he is going to be disarmed."

The president offered support to Putin for his handling of last month`s hostage crisis in a Moscow theater that left 128 captives dead, almost all in the rescue operation. "He made some very tough decisions," Bush said.

The president noted that al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden in his recent audiotaped message was "praising these Muslim attacks," including the one in Moscow, and mentioned Chechnya.

Asked whether he believed bin Laden was plotting another attack on the United States, Bush said, "Whether it`s him or somebody else, they`re plotting an attack, no question about it. That`s why we`ve got to get them."

Of the seven-yearlong battle between Russian troops and independence-minded rebels in the small Caucasus Mountain republic of Chechnya, Bush said, "I will continue to talk to Vladimir about the need to protect and recognize the rights of minorities in any country, and at the same time deal with terrorism. I hope he can find that balance. I think he can."

Bush praised Russia for helping to draft the strong resolution on weapons inspections in Iraq that was ultimately adopted by the U.N. Security Council. U.N. weapons inspectors returned to Iraq on Monday.

Thousands of militant protesters have pledged to converge on Prague during the two-day meeting. "I am mindful of what happens when a U.S. president shows up at times," Bush said. He said he is convinced Czech authorities will maintain order but added: "There is going to be a lot of noise and clamor."

Bush will hold separate one-on-one meetings on the sidelines of the NATO summit with Czech, Turkish and French leaders and with NATO`s secretary general, George Robertson. He has no meeting scheduled with Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder of Germany, who angered Bush during Schroeder`s re-election campaign by opposing U.S. plans toward Iraq. Administration officials sought Monday to play down the dispute.

"He`ll certainly see Chancellor Schroeder during the course of the meetings," said Secretary of State Colin Powell during a session with local high school editors. "They`ll be in meetings together for two days. They will have an opportunity to exchange greetings."

---

On the Net: Prague Summit:


Last modified: November 19. 2002 5:06AM

[Joerver]

Die neusten
Bushisms

Adventures in George W. Bushspeak - Updated Frequently



About Poll
What`s your favorite Bushism?
`Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.`
`I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.`
`They misunderestimated me.`
`Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?`


Current Results





"I know something about being a government. And you`ve got a good one." —George W. Bush, campaigning for Gov. Mike Huckabee, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 4, 2002

"These people don`t have tanks. They don`t have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out." —George W. Bush, speaking about terrorists, Portsmouth, N.H., Nov. 1, 2002

"I need to be able to move the right people to the right place at the right time to protect you, and I`m not going to accept a lousy bill out of the United Nations Senate." —George W. Bush, South Bend, Ind., Oct. 31, 2002

"John Thune has got a common-sense vision for good forest policy. I look forward to working with him in the United Nations Senate to preserve these national heritages." —George W. Bush, Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

"Any time we`ve got any kind of inkling that somebody is thinking about doing something to an American and something to our homeland, you`ve just got to know we`re moving on it, to protect the United Nations Constitution, and at the same time, we`re protecting you." —George W. Bush, Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will." —George W. Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002

"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it`s important to let people have more of their own money." —George W. Bush, Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption." —George W. Bush, Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in`s house and say I love you." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

"You see, the Senate wants to take away some of the powers of the administrative branch." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

"There`s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it`s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can`t get fooled again." —George W. Bush, Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

"See, we love — we love freedom. That`s what they didn`t understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don`t seek revenge, we seek justice out of love." —George W. Bush, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

"There`s no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide." —George W. Bush, Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

"President Musharraf, he`s still tight with us on the war against terror, and that`s what I appreciate. He`s a — he understands that we`ve got to keep Al Qaeda on the run, and that by keeping him on the run, it`s more likely we will bring him to justice." —George W. Bush, Ruch, Ore., Aug. 22, 2002

"I`m a patient man. And when I say I`m a patient man, I mean I`m a patient man. Nothing he [Saddam Hussein] has done has convinced me — I`m confident the Secretary of Defense — that he is the kind of fellow that is willing to forgo weapons of mass destruction, is willing to be a peaceful neighbor, that is — will honor the people — the Iraqi people of all stripes, will — values human life. He hasn`t convinced me, nor has he convinced my administration." —George W. Bush, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 21, 2002

"I`m thrilled to be here in the bread basket of America because it gives me a chance to remind our fellow citizens that we have an advantage here in America — we can feed ourselves." —George W. Bush, Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

"The federal government and the state government must not fear programs who change lives, but must welcome those faith-based programs for the embetterment of mankind." —George W. Bush, Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn`t here." —George W. Bush, speaking at the President`s Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"Tommy (Thompson) is a good listener, and he`s a pretty good actor, too." —George W. Bush, apparently confusing his Health and Human Services secretary with Sen. Fred Thompson, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country has gone through tough times before, and we`re going to do it again." —George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"The trial lawyers are very politically powerful. … But here in Texas we took them on and got some good medical — medical malpractice." —George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society." —George W. Bush, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

Got a Bushism?
Email it to: [e-mail]

"I love the idea of a school in which people come to get educated and stay in the state in which they`re educated." —George W. Bush, Milwaukee, Wis., Aug. 14, 2002

"The problem with the French is that they don`t have a word for entrepreneur." —George W. Bush, discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

"There was no malfeance involved. This was an honest disagreement about accounting procedures. ... There was no malfeance, no attempt to hide anything." —George W. Bush, White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002

"I also understand how tender the free enterprise system can be." —George W. Bush, White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002

"Over 75 percent of white Americans own their home, and less than 50 percent of Hispanos and African Americans don`t own their home. And that`s a gap, that`s a homeownership gap. And we`ve got to do something about it." —George W. Bush, Cleveland, Ohio, July 1, 2002

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

American History 101

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade class. The teacher said, "Let`s begin by reviewing some American history.

"Who said, `Give me Liberty or give me Death` ?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki`s

"Patrick Henry 1775," he said.

"Very good! Who said `...government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth`?"

Again, no response, except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper, "Screw the Japs."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Suzuki raised his hand: "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point a student said, "I`m gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Who said that?"

Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps up waving his hand and shouts, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

With near mob hysteria, someone screams, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I`ll kill you."

Suzuki yells, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

At this, the teacher fainted. The class gathered around her.

One of the kids says, "Oh shit, we`re in BIG trouble!"

Suzuki says, "Arthur Andersen, 2002."



Anderson war der CEO von Enron

[Joerver]

Bush, Einstein and Picasso at the Pearly Gates

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein`s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
yours?"

George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

[Joerver]

BUSH IN PRAG

"Saddam wird entwaffnet, so oder so"

US-Präsident George W. Bush hat nach einem Treffen mit dem tschechischen Präsidenten Vaclav Havel in Prag versucht, die Weltgemeinschaft auf den Kampf gegen den internationalen Terrorismus einzuschwören. Er stellte die Staaten vor die Entscheidung, in der "Koalition der Wollenden" mitzumachen oder nicht.

AP

Hamburg - US-Präsident George W. Bush traf Mittwochfrüh auf der Prager Burg mit Präsident Vaclav Havel zusammen. Auf der anschließenden Pressekonferenz war die Irak-Politik zentrales Thema. Bush sagte, es gehe darum, Saddam zu entwaffnen. Es liege an ihm, wie dies geschehen werde. "Er wird entwaffnet werden, so oder so", sagte Bush, "im Namen des Friedens".
Diesen Frieden gefährde Saddam. 16 Mal habe die Uno den Irak aufgefordert, seine Waffen zu zerstören, 16 Mal habe Saddam zugesagt, es aber nie getan. "Davon haben wir genug", sagte Bush. Es gebe eine entscheidende Frage: "Wird Saddam mit dem Willen der Welt kooperieren oder nicht? Und das heißt Entwaffnung."

Ebenso wie es an Saddam sei, zu wählen, ob er seine Waffenarsenale offen legt oder nicht, stünden die Staaten vor der Wahl, ob sie auf der Seite der USA stehen wollen, oder ob sie nicht am Kampf gegen die internationale Bedrohung teilnehmen werden. "Wir hoffen, dass unsere Freunde mitmachen", sagte Bush, sollte es zu einem Krieg kommen. Es sei jedoch die Entscheidung Deutschlands - wie jeden Landes - ob und wie es sich beteiligen wolle. Man sei darüber im Gespräch. Er sei froh über jeden, der an der "Koalition der Wollenden" teilnehme.

Die Nato spiele eine wichtige Rolle im Kampf gegen den weltweiten Terrorismus. Die Allianz müsse transformiert werden von einer Macht, die einst dem Warschauer Pakt entgegenstand, zu einer Kraft, die den internationalen Terrorismus bekämpfe. "Der Feind ist nicht Russland, sondern der weltweite Terrorismus, der den Frieden bedroht", sagte Bush.

Auch das tschechische Volk müsse verstehen, dass diese Bedrohung real sei. Seit dem 11. September habe sich die Welt für die USA geändert. Bei dem neuen Feind handle es sich um kaltblütige Killer, die die Freiheit hassten. Bush ergänzte, es sei ein Kampf gegen Individuen, nicht gegen eine Religion. "Wenn wir stark, vereint und hart bleiben, werden wir die Oberhand behalten."

Daher unterstützt Bush nach eigenen Aussagen ein starkes, freies und friedliches Europa. Diese Freiheit müsse um jeden Preis verteidigt werden. Länder wie die Tschechei könnten dazu beitragen, den Frieden zu sichern, aber auch die Seele des weltweit wichtigsten Bündnisses zu beeinflussen.

Die Begegnung in der Prager Burg bildete den Auftakt einer Serie von Zweiergesprächen, die Bush am Rande des Nato-Gipfeltreffens führen will, das an diesem Donnerstag beginnt. Er will noch heute den türkischen Präsidenten Ahmet Necdet Sezer und Nato-Generalsekretär George Robertson treffen. Außerdem ist eine Rede zur Zukunft Europas vor Jugendlichen aus den Ländern des Bündnisses geplant.

Auf der Pressekonferenz mit Havel bedankte sich Bush beim tschechischen Volk für die Gastfreundschaft. Er hob den großartigen Charakter der Tschechen hervor, die diese Konferenz zustande gebracht haben, trotz der Zerstörungen durch die Flut im letzten Sommer.

Bush sandte auch eine Grußadresse in sein eigenes Land. Er bedankte sich beim Senat für die gute Zusammenarbeit mit ihm. Der Senat hatte gerade nach monatelangem Kampf die Einrichtung eines Heimatschutzministeriums verabschiedet.

Spiegel-Online

[Joerver]

"Your wonderful capacity to endlös conflicts"

Von Henryk M. Broder

Die Amerikaner haben die Indianer ausgerottet, Dresden bombardiert, Hiroshima verbrannt und das Klima-Abkommen von Kyoto nicht unterzeichnet - Grund genug, sie zu verachten. Ein Essay über den keimenden Anti-Amerikanismus und die moralische Überheblichkeit in Deutschland.

Anti-Amerikanismus: Allein schon der Begriff ist Mogelei. Er suggeriert alles Mögliche, von Protest über Reaktion bis zur Notwehr und legt die Reihenfolge fest: Ohne das amerikanische Streben nach der Weltherrschaft gäbe es keinen Anti-Amerikanismus, so wie der Anti-Faschismus die zwangsläufige Antwort auf den Faschismus war, so wie Antibiotika gegen Entzündungen und Antidepressiva gegen schlechte Laune verschrieben werden.
Das Prinzip von Ursache und Wirkung scheint auch in diesem Fall zu gelten. Zuerst ist das pathologische Symptom da, dann kommen die Ärzte und überlegen, wie sie es angehen sollen. Der Patient wird gebeten, sich der Behandlung nicht zu widersetzen, es geschehe alles zu seinem Besten. Doch es scheint nur so. Der Anti-Amerikanismus ist kein bedingter Reflex auf die Politik der USA, er ist ein autonomes Ressentiment, das sich seine Rechtfertigungen sucht. Man könnte auch sagen: Der Wirkung ist jede Ursache recht, so lange sie sich als die moralisch überlegene Position spreizen kann.

Es darf doch nicht sein, dass uns diese Cowboys überlegen sind

Der Anti-Amerikanismus der Nazis richtete sich gegen den "Mammonismus" der Amerikaner, gegen die Vermännlichung der Frauen und die Verweiblichung der Männer in den USA. Nach dem Krieg ging es dann, sobald die Care-Pakete verbraucht waren, gegen die "Negermusik" und "degenerierte" Künstler wie Elvis Presley, die mit ihrem Geschaukel und Geheule die Moral der deutschen Jugendlichen gefährdeten. Nur war damals noch nicht von "Anti-Amerikanismus" die Rede. Kurz nach der Befreiung konnte das Ressentiment nur wie ein No-Name-Produkt gelagert werden. Inzwischen ist viel Zeit vergangen, alle Hemmungen, die mit der Geschichte verbunden waren, sind abgebaut, es herrscht eine Unbefangenheit, die sich an der eigenen Verwegenheit berauscht.




Henryk M. Broder
wurde am 20. August 1946 in Katowice/Polen geboren. 1958 kam er mit den Eltern in die Bundesrepublik. 1981 verlegte er seinen Wohnsitz nach Israel. Heute lebt Broder in Berlin und Jerusalem. Broder ist Autor für den SPIEGEL und SPIEGEL ONLINE. Er hat zahlreiche Bücher veröffentlicht, unter anderem "Erbarmen mit den Deutschen" (1993), "Schöne Bescherung. Unterwegs im Neuen Deutschland" (1994), "Volk und Wahn" (1996). Am 11. März erschien mit "Kein Krieg, nirgends: Die Deutschen und der Terror" sein neuestes Buch.



Der Antiamerikanismus ist ein kollektiver Urschrei verwundeter Seelen: der Versuch, über das Gefühl der eigenen Unterlegenheit hinwegzukommen. Es darf doch nicht sein, dass die primitiven Amerikaner, diese Cowboys und Bush-Krieger uns praktisch in allem überlegen sind, wo wir die Kultur und die Klappstulle erfunden haben und sogar in Augsburg, Mainz und Oldenburg teure Drei-Sparten-Theater unterhalten. Erschwerend kommt dazu, dass es die Amis waren, die uns im letzten Jahrhundert zweimal geschlagen und vor uns selbst gerettet haben. Keine andere Gesellschaft, so hat es der Literaturwissenschaftler Hans Ulrich Gumbrecht, ein Deutscher mit US-Pass, in der "FAZ" geschrieben, würde "ähnlich stolz und ähnlich konsequent ihren eigenen Antiamerikanismus als Ausdruck nationaler Souveränität" missverstehen. Unter den Beispielen, die Gumbrecht nannte, war auch ein "national hochgeschätzter Künstler", der in einer Talkshow gesagt hatte, die Erfindung des Kaugummis sei "der einzige amerikanische Beitrag zur Weltkultur" gewesen. - Würde man die Mischung aus Häme und Ignoranz, die in Deutschland als Nachweis eines gesunden Selbstbewusstseins gilt, andersrum anwenden, müsste man sagen, der einzige deutsche Beitrag zur Weltkultur von Wert und Bestand sei die Currywurst.

"Gerade wir als Deutsche..."

Woher kommt das Gefühl der moralischen Überlegenheit, das sich derzeit wieder in allen Medien breit macht, in den professionellen Kommentaren wie in den naiven Leserbriefen? Was ist die Geschäftsgrundlage für die große Koalition des guten Gewissens, deren Teilnehmer sich gegenseitig die allergrößte Eingreifkompetenz bestätigen? "Darf man Mord nicht Mord nennen, weil viele unserer Vorfahren gemordet haben? Muss man nicht gerade deshalb und um unserer eigenen Kinder willen laut und deutlich Mord Mord und Mörder Mörder nennen? Schweigen ist heute Schuld"- schreibt ein SPIEGEL-Leser in einem Leserbrief. Er meint die Verpflichtung, im Nahostkonflikt Stellung zu beziehen, für den Frieden und zugunsten der Palästinenser. Es ist eine einfache Rechnung: Je schwerer die eigene historische Hypothek, umso größer auch die Berechtigung, anderen Moral zu predigen. Mit dem Holocaust im Gepäck sind die Deutschen wie keine andere Nation für einen solchen Job qualifiziert.

Sagte man früher: "Junge Huren, alte Betschwestern", so heißt es heute: "Grade wir als Deutsche..."Das Prinzip gilt generell, auch und vor allem gegenüber den Amerikanern. Denn die haben die Indianer ausgerottet, Dresden bombardiert, Hiroshima verbrannt und das Klima-Abkommen von Kyoto nicht unterzeichnet. Es gibt also ein langes Sündenregister und akuten Handlungs- und Nachhilfebedarf.

"Nein zum Krieg im Irak. Weil Krieg nicht zum Frieden führt" konnte man ausgerechnet am 1. September in Anzeigen der PDS lesen, der Nachgeburt der SED, die sonst den Sieg der Sowjetunion im Großen Vaterländischen Krieg feierte, als hätten das ZK und das Politbüro von Pankow aus die militärische Offensive angeführt. Und als gäbe es einen Briefsteller für Kaugummiverächter, setzte sich überall die gleiche Sprachregelung durch. Es müsse "vor der Gefahr eines Irrweges gewarnt werden", meinte ein "Neues-Deutschland"-Leser, "wer sonst, wenn nicht Deutschland sollte es tun - vor dem Hintergrund seiner schmerzhaften Erfahrungen?" Es war, natürlich, eine rein rhetorische Frage.

Jawoll! Wir verbieten US-Touristen die Benutzung der Bahnhofs-Klos

In der "Welt" legte ein Leser ein Bekenntnis ab: "Meiner Meinung nach ist kein Volk der Welt mehr dazu prädestiniert, vor den unkalkulierbaren Folgen eines Krieges zu warnen wie das deutsche", und in der "Berliner Zeitung" meldete sich sein Klon zu Wort: "Die Deutschen haben ihre Lektion gelernt. Man darf es ihnen heute nicht verargen, dass sie sensibel reagieren, wenn irgendwo in der Welt abermals ein Angriffskrieg vorbereitet wird."

So ein moralischer Vorsprung muss klug genutzt werden. "Vielleicht können gerade die Westeuropäer den US-Amerikanern eine Lektion in Demokratie und humanitärer Mitmenschlichkeit erteilen", meinte ein "taz"-Leser, der mit seinem Abo vom Deutschen zum Westeuropäer mutiert war und dabei vergessen hatte, wie heldenhaft die Westeuropäer den Nazis Widerstand geleistet hatten, bevor sie aus eigener Kraft kapitulierten, und wie vorbildlich sie alle europäischen Konflikte, von Nordirland bis zum Baskenland, von Zypern bis Kosovo, seitdem gelöst haben, immer unter der Wahrung humanitärer Mitmenschlichkeit.

Ein anderer "taz"-Leser schrieb einen Brief an George W. Bush, in dem er humanitäre Mitmenschlichkeit mit alternativer Witzischkeit verknüpfte: "When you was gorvenor of Texas for example, all the world could see your wonderful capacity to endlös homemade conflicts." Es gab, ebenfalls von einem "taz"-Leser vorgelegt, einen Vorschlag, wie die nächste Endlösung verhindert werden könnte: "Den USA und Großbritannien ist die Nutzung ihrer in der BRD befindlichen Militärbasen und Kommandoeinrichtungen... für eine Kriegführung gegen den Irak strikt zu untersagen!" Jawoll! Und wenn das nicht hilft, verbieten wir amerikanischen und britischen Touristen die Benutzung der Klos auf deutschen Bahnhöfen!

"Ich wäre froh, wenn Kolumbus an den Blödmännern vorbei gefahren wäre"

Statements wie diese mögen im Einzelfall von Angebern, Spinnern und Querulanten geschrieben sein, sie geben die vorherrschende Stimmung dennoch authentisch wieder. So wie es aus Herta Däubler-Gmelin spricht, so denkt es allerorten. Und wenn man wissen will, wie es ganz unten im Volk rumort, muss man nur in den Internet-Foren nachsehen, wo sich die Vox populi ungebremst und ungefiltert und ohne Rücksicht auf Rechtschreibung und Zeichensetzung austobt.

"Es geht nur um Bodenschätze und das wohl der USA! Die größten Schweine sind nicht bereit was für die Umwelt zu tun. Der Irak wird angegriffen, weil er nukleare u. Biologische Waffen hat, was hat denn die USA??? Ich wäre froh, wenn Kolumbus damals an den Blödmännern vorbei gefahren wäre. Last sie machen was sie wollen, irgendwann sind sie mit sich selbst nicht mehr zufrieden dann haben sie ihre eigenen Probleme zu lösen, und der Rest der Welt hat seine ruhe vor diesem Land ohne jegliche Kultur. ENDLICH!!!!!!!!!"

Der Anti-Amerikanismus ist ein populäres und dabei diversifiziertes Phänomen. Es gibt den Anti-Amerikanismus der dummen Kerls, die sich über Kaugummi, Coca-Cola und McDonald`s aufregen, während sie Buletten und Bratkartoffeln in der Mikrowelle auftauen; und es gibt den Anti-Amerikanismus der gebildeten Stände, die alles relativieren und in die richtige Perspektive bringen, wie es "stern"-, "Zeit"- und SPIEGEL-Leser gerne tun: "Dieser 11. September hat die Welt nicht verändert. Ähnliche und gar noch viel schlimmere Verbrechen gab es leider schon immer in der Menschheitsgeschichte. Jedoch hat noch nie ein Staatsgebilde so viel Kapital aus solch einem Vorfall geschlagen wie die USA."

"Eine Analogie zum Einsturz des Turms zu Babel"

So etwas kann natürlich nicht hingenommen werden. Wer, wenn nicht wir, wäre besser geeignet, den USA auf die Finger zu schlagen und Fairness für einen Diktator einzufordern: "Mit demselben Recht, mit dem die souveränen USA Einblick in die Waffenschmieden des Irak fordern, könnte der ebenfalls souveräne Irak Einblick in die militärische Hexenküche der Amerikaner fordern. Gleiches Recht für alle!"

Eine Etage darüber setzen die Vordenker und Philosophen das nationale Bildungswerk fort. Die Systemanalytikerin Sybille Tönnies enthüllt in der "FAZ", "warum sich die amerikanische Aggression jetzt gegen Saddam richten muss", weil er sich der "Pax Americana" verweigert hatte und nicht am "Krieg gegen den Terror" teilnehmen wollte.

Der Lifestyle-Philosoph Peter Sloterdijk sagt dem Wiener Nachrichten-Magazin "profil", er gehöre "Gott sei Dank einer Gruppe von Menschen an, die mit dem 11. September seit jeher den Geburtstag Theodor W. Adornos verbunden haben" und er halte weiter "an der Einschätzung fest, dass diese Assoziation unter kulturgeschichtlichen Gesichtspunkten weiterhin die wichtigere bleibt".

Die fortschrittliche Theologin Dorothee Sölle, schon immer auf Seiten der Armen und Ausgebeuteten, sieht in der Zerstörung der Türme des WTC "eine Analogie zum Einsturz des Turms zu Babel". Beide Bauwerke seien aus den gleichen Gründen zerstört worden: "Weil sich die Menschheit nicht mehr verstanden habe."

"Läuft in der Welt etwas krumm, dann riecht es nach Petroleum!"

Ihr Kollege Friedrich Schorlemmer schaut dagegen besorgt in die Zukunft. "Die Welt muss nicht nur den schwierigen und langwierigen Kampf gegen den internationalen Terrorismus gewinnen, sondern sie muss auch acht Jahre Bush-Administration überstehen." Damit ist für ihn die Terrorismus-Frage erledigt, das Problem Bush aber nicht. "Bush ist eine Gefahr für die Welt geworden", er ist dabei, "zum Weltdiktator zu werden", die US-Administration "wird damit selber zu einer Weltgefahr". In dieser Lage, schreibt Schorlemmer in "Neues Deutschland", "wäre der Westen gut beraten, auf die liberalen Kräfte in der arabischen Welt zu hören", und weil es in der arabischen Welt so viele liberale Kräfte gibt, auf die man hören kann, fallen ihm spontan zwei ein: "auf den ägyptischen Präsidenten und den Präsidenten der arabischen Liga".

Entsetzt und mit allergrößter Missbilligung stellen die Gegner der "Pax Americana" fest, dass die US-Regierung kein verlängerter Arm der Heilsarmee ist, dass ihr Vorgehen "immer auch mit handfesten ökonomischen und machtpolitischen Interessen verbunden war". Surprise, surprise! Statt Rheumadecken und Milchpulver in der Welt zu verteilen, betreibt eine Weltmacht Interessen orientierte Machtpolitik. Ein "ND"-Leser bringt die Sache auf den Punkt: "Läuft in der Welt etwas schief und krumm, dann riecht es nach Petroleum! Und bei Bush und Co. riecht es penetrant nach Petroleum."

Deutsche Firmen dagegen nehmen nicht am weltweiten Wettbewerb teil, deutsche Banken geben besonders gern zinsfreie Kredite an kapital-lose Kleinbetriebe in der Dritten Welt, deutsche Moralisten wie Sloterdijk, Sölle und Schorlemmer schalten im Winter ihre Heizungen aus und frieren gemeinsam für den Frieden. Zwischendurch wärmen sie sich an einem Glas Tee auf, den sie in einem Laden der Welthungerhilfe gekauft haben, der Strom kommt ja ohnehin aus der Steckdose.

Es waren deutsche Firmen, die den Irak aufrüsteten

Nur nebenbei hört man, dass die deutsche Politik nicht ganz so interessenfrei ist, wie es die Vertreter der deutschen Moral gerne hätten. 1997 wurden Waren im Werte von 21, 7 Millionen Euro in den Irak exportiert, ein Jahr später waren es schon 75,4 Millionen Euro. 2001 setzten deutsche Firmen im Irakhandel 336,5 Millionen Euro um, und im ersten Halbjahr dieses Jahres waren es bereits 226, 2 Millionen Euro; das heißt: Innerhalb von nur fünf Jahren stieg der deutsch-irakische Handel um das Zwanzigfache.

Es waren auch deutsche Firmen, die entscheidend dazu beigetragen hatten, den Irak aufzurüsten, seine Scud-Raketen flugtauglich zu machen. Worauf sich die deutschen Moralisten nicht darum sorgten, welchen Schaden diese Waffen anrichten würden, sondern wie eine "Eskalation der Gewalt" - durch eine Entwaffnung des Irak - verhindert werden könnte. Der deutsche Idealismus kann es auch nicht hinnehmen dass "Blut für Öl" vergossen wird. Denn das einzige, wofür Blut vergossen werden darf, ist Blut - ohne materielle Interessen. Moral ist in Deutschland ein Exportartikel. Die Selbstermächtigungsformeln "Wer, wenn nicht wir..."und "Gerade wir als Deutsche mit unserer Geschichte..."haben das alte "Made in Germany" ersetzt. Für den heimischen Markt sind sie freilich ohne jede Bedeutung.

Wenn nur die Reichtümer der Erde gerecht verteilt wären...

Die "nationalbefreiten Zonen" im Osten bleiben unter der Kontrolle von Neonazis, im Westen nimmt der Antisemitismus rasant zu, ohne dass die Bannerträger der Moral, vorneweg Künstler und Intellektuelle, sich die gute Laune vernageln lassen möchten. Sie konzentrieren ihre Kräfte darauf, der Welt zu sagen, wie der Terrorismus bekämpft werden soll, nämlich "wie jede Form der Kriminalität mit polizeilichen Maßnahmen", wobei man auch "seine sozialen Ursachen ins Auge fassen (muss), vor allem die ungerechte Verteilung der Reichtümer der Erde und die Demütigung fremder Kulturen durch die Arroganz einiger Führer des Westens", heißt es in einem Appell, den einige dutzend Kulturschaffende, von Walter Jens bis Katja Ebstein und Johano Strasser bis Hannelore Elsner, unterzeichnet haben.

Wenn nur die Reichtümer der Erde gerecht verteilt wären und die Demütigung fremder Kulturen durch die Arroganz einiger Führer des Westens vorbei wäre, dann würden auch die zwei Türme in New York noch stehen und Katja Ebstein könnte mit Hannelore Elsner in der Bar "Windows on the World" im 101. Stock des Nordturms mit ein paar "Caipirinhas" auf die Dritte Welt anstoßen, statt in Deutschland nach den "sozialen Ursachen" des Terrorismus zu forschen.

Vieles am deutschen Anti-Amerikanismus, wie er sich seit dem 11. September 2001 präsentiert, ist geschwätziges Mitläufertum von Leuten, die auch jeden Appell gegen schlechtes Wetter unterzeichnen würden, so lange sie damit ihre fortschrittliche Gesinnung zum Nulltarif beweisen könnten. Dieselben Leute, die angesichts von Taliban und al-Qaida nicht müde werden, islamischen Fanatismus schön zu reden und seine Aktionen als soziokulturelle Notwehr, als Reaktion auf Armut und Arroganz, zu verharmlosen, brauchen ein Feindbild, an dem sie sich festhalten können, den hässlichen, kulturlosen Amerikaner, der Kaugummi kauend die Welt verpestet.

Sie haben keine Zeile von Walt Whitman gelesen und wissen nicht, was Henry David Thoreau "Über die Pflicht zum Ungehorsam gegen den Staat" geschrieben hat, das einzige, wovon sie überzeugt sind, ist, dass sie die Welt retten müssen, nicht vor Osama Bin Laden und Saddam Hussein, sondern vor George W. Bush, der eine Gefahr für den Weltfrieden bedeutet, wie Adolf Hitler vor gut 70 Jahren.

Je mehr George zum Adolf wird, umso weniger bleibt vom Original übrig

Und nun wird gehandelt. Noch einmal wollen die deutschen Friedensfreunde nicht versagen, um sich hinterher Vorwürfe anhören zu müssen, sie hätten die Zeichen an der Wand nicht gesehen. Der inzwischen zur argumentativen Grundausstattung gehörende Vergleich von Bush und Hitler soll den nachgeholten Widerstand legitimieren. Und je mehr George zum Adolf wird, umso weniger bleibt am Ende vom Original übrig. So schaffen wir unsere Geschichte außer Landes, legen sie den Amis vor die Haustür und halten unseren eigenen Garten sauber. Bald wird das Weiße Haus nur noch der "Führerbunker" heißen, und dann sollte es nicht mehr lange dauern, bis Deutschland den Rest der Welt beschämen und Saddam Hussein Asyl anbieten wird. Wer, wenn nicht wir.