A letter to the London Observer from Terry Jones of Monty Python - 500 Beiträge pro Seite

[ArnoldSchopenhauer]

Letter to the Observer Sunday January 26, 2003 The Observer

I`m really excited by George Bush`s latest reason for bombing Iraq: he`s
running out of patience. And so am I! For some time now I`ve been really
pissed off with Mr Johnson, who lives a couple of doors down the street.

Well, him and Mr Patel, who runs the health food shop. They both give me
queer looks, and I`m sure Mr Johnson is planning something nasty for me,
but so far I haven`t been able to discover what.

I`ve been round to his place a few times to see what he`s up to, but he`s
got everything well hidden. That`s how devious he is. As for Mr Patel,
don`t ask me how I know, I just know - from very good sources - that he
is, in reality, a Mass Murderer. I have leafleted the street telling them
that
if we don`t act first, he`ll pick us off one by one.

Some of my neighbours say, if I`ve got proof, why don`t I go to the
police?
But that`s simply ridiculous. The police will say that they need evidence
of a crime with which to charge my neighbours. They`ll come up with
endless
red tape and quibbling about the rights and wrongs of a pre-emptive strike
and all the while Mr Johnson will be finalising his plans to do terrible
things to me, while Mr Patel will be secretly murdering people. Since I`m
the only one in the street with a decent range of automatic firearms, I
reckon it`s up to me to keep the peace. But until recently that`s been a
little difficult.

Now, however, George W. Bush has made it clear that all I need to do is
run
out of patience, and then I can wade in and do whatever I want! And let`s
face it, Mr Bush`s carefully thought-out policy towards Iraq is the only
way to bring about international peace and security. The one certain way
to stop Muslim fundamentalist suicide bombers targeting the US or the UK
is
to bomb a few Muslim countries that have never threatened us.

That`s why I want to blow up Mr Johnson`s garage and kill his wife and
children. Strike first! That`ll teach him a lesson. Then he`ll leave us in
peace and stop peering at me in that totally unacceptable way. Mr Bush
makes it clear that all he needs to know before bombing Iraqis that

Saddam is a really nasty man and that he has weapons of mass destruction -
even if no one can find them. I`m certain I`ve just as much justification
for killing Mr Johnson`s wife and children as Mr Bush has for bombing
Iraq.

Mr Bush`s long-term aim is to make the world a safer place by eliminating
`rogue states` and `terrorism`. It`s such a clever long-term aim because
how can you ever know when you`ve achieved it?

How will Mr Bush know when he`s wiped out all terrorists? When every
single terrorist is dead? But then a terrorist is only a terrorist once
he`s
committed an act of terror. What about would-be terrorists? These are
the ones you really want to eliminate, since most of the known terrorists,
being suicide bombers, have already eliminated themselves. Perhaps
Mr Bush needs to wipe out everyone who could possibly be a future
terrorist?

Maybe he can`t be sure he`s achieved his objective until every Muslim
fundamentalist is dead? But then some moderate Muslims might convert to
fundamentalism. Maybe the only really safe thing to do would be for Mr
Bush to eliminate all Muslims?

It`s the same in my street. Mr Johnson and Mr Patel are just the tip of
the iceberg. There are dozens of other people in the street who I don`t
like and who - quite frankly - look at me in odd ways. No one will be
really safe until I`ve wiped them all out. My wife says I might be going
too far but I tell her I`m simply using the same logic as the President of
the United States. That shuts her up. Like Mr Bush, I`ve run out of
patience, and if that`s a good enough reason for the President, it`s good
enough for me.

I`m going to give the whole street two weeks - no, 10 days - to come out
in the open and hand over all aliens and interplanetary hijackers,
galactic
outlaws and interstellar terrorist masterminds, and if they don`t hand
them over nicely and say `Thank you`, I`m going to bomb the entire street
to kingdom come.

It`s just as sane as what George W. Bush is proposing - and, in contrast
to what he`s intending, my policy will destroy only one street.

[sittin bull inv]

und

[ArnoldSchopenhauer]

Und? Der Letter gefällt mir. Sonst nichts und.

[big_mac]

göttlich, der brief.

nur sind mr. johnson und mr. patel offenbar friedliche mitbürger.
im gegensatz zum massenmörder saddam.

[yarkssen]

gute idee, hat mal einer ne usi ? ich hab mit meiner nachbarin auch noch ne rechnung offen...

@big_mac,
was du nicht mitschneidest, bush handelt unter der prämisse, dass er alles angreifen kann, was die usa bedroht, und diese bedrohung ist einfach nicht bewiesen. der vorwurf der massenmöderei, nun auf mr. patel und mr. johnsson übertragen, ist für massenmöder die polizie zuständig. wenn ich zur polizei gehe und jemanden des massenmordes beschuldige, und die polizei nimmt diesen nicht sofort fest, sondern schickt leute, die untersuchen, ob der massenmörder noch waffen hat, so kann ich nicht einfach auf eingene faust losschlagen. das wäre nämlich lynchjustiz.
yarkssen

[big_mac]

yarkssen,

die polizei sucht bei massenmördern keine waffen.
sie nimmt diese fest und steckt sie hinter schwedische gardinen.
genau das passiert jetzt mit saddam.

[big_mac]

p.s.: das ding nennt sich uzi und stammt aus israel.