DAX-0,48 % EUR/USD+0,03 % Gold-0,04 % Öl (Brent)+0,46 %

100.000 Einheiten sind fix, David Coll... und Richard C.... wollen Metabox - 500 Beiträge pro Seite



Beitrag schreiben

Begriffe und/oder Benutzer

 

und das ist erst der Anfang. Dem Wettbewerb ist schon die Spucke weggeblieben. Bekanntes deutsches Unternehmen hält jetzt schon mehr als 25% an Metabox.

Frohes neues Jahr.
Hallo Unsichtbarer,

ich habe eine Bitte, schreib doch wenigstens sichtbar!


Wer will MBX?

Danke

MfG
hmm....entweder du bluffst hervorragend, oder du weisst tatsächlich was


meGA
@ DerUnsichtbare,

ich schätze Du bluffst.

Bei mehr als 20% Beteiligung wäre doch eine Adhoc fällig
- oder war da nicht etwas?

MfG
hooksie hält auch ca.0,00000002% an metabox, vorerst.

@phantomas, werde mal konkreter bitte, oder lass es ganz.

gruss, hooksie
Met@man geht
Der unsichtbare kommt !!

Wie könnt Ihr solche Vollidioten für voll nehmen ????

sprachlos
Zumal....

Sollte Metabox laut deiner Aussage nicht noch dieses Jahr einen Grossauftrag melden?
Das müsste also heute passieren,nicht?

Da bin ich ja mal gespannt....
Würde jedenfalls mehr über deine Glaubwürdigkeit Auskunft geben.
Wir hatten hier wirklich schon genug Spinner.

Gruss aus den schweizer Alpen

meGA
Der Unsichtbare will sich bestimmt nur ein bischen wichtig
machen - bestimmt ein Spinner.

Also laß den Scheiß - oder bring Beweise!

MfG
@mega,

meines Wissens ist das Jahr 2000 erst um 24h am 31.12.00 zuende. Heute ist der 29.12.2000.

MfG
Rock
@ meGA

Sag mal , wohnst Du in St. M oder machst Du nur Urlaub ?
Auf jeden Fall schöne Grüße und einen feucht-fröhlichen Rutsch ins neue.

Janus1
@rock, für einen richtigen börsen-junkie endet das jahr heute 14.oo h mez. :)
@hooksie,

schon klar, aber dass MBX sich an die Handelszeiten hält mit Ihren Verlautbarungen war ja wohl bisher die große Ausnahme...

MfG
Rock
domy hat sich doch bis ins nächste jahr verabschiedet, da kommt vorher nichts mehr.

allen einen guten rutsch und ein besseres 2001, hooksie
Was hat die Möglichkeit einer ad-hoc mit der Verabschiedung in einem AB zu tun?

MfG
Rock
janus


Bin hier in Urlaub. Jedes Jahr aufs Neue um die gleiche Zeit. Alles etwas "aufgesetzt" hier, aber im Winter ist es einfach ein Traum.
Wo feiert man schon mit Claudia Schiffer im selben Club? (wie gestern) :)
Wünsche Dir natürlich ebenfalls einen guten und feucht-fröhlichen Rutsch ins neue Jahr.
Für alle Winterfans, die ebenfalls gerade im Engadin verweilen ("WHO KNOWS?")
An Silvester könnte man sich im "Prince" in St.Moritz mal kennenlernen.


Gruss
meGA
weil auf ad hoc ab folgt um ad hoc zu relativieren.:)
und wenn domy im urlaub dann nix ab also nix ad hoc.
Was mich wundert, ist die Tatsache, daß keiner von Euch
die Namen zuordnen kann.

David Colley ist der Chef von Kabel NRW und die gehören zu 55 %
der Callahan Gruppe. Der Unsichtbare behautet demnach, daß
die Bestellung über 100.000 Einheiten an die Callahan Gruppe
geht. Meines Erachtens alles nur Spekulation. Die Ausschreibung
für die Box in NRW findet erst im Januar statt.
Ach ja,

ich hoffe ich muß Euch dann nicht erklären wer Richard C ist.
Sollte doch wohl klar sein, oder ?
Also ich wüßte es jetzt nicht gerade.

Entweder der Push war viel zu gut, dass er nicht wirken konnte ...

... oder es stimmt.

ciao ZO
richard callahan, ist schon klar. aber macht das sinn wenn der unsichtbare recht hat? kabelnetzbetreiber mit boxen und programmangebot, wer kennt sich besser aus?
Und bei einem solchen Einsammeln soll der Kurs nicht gestiegen sein ???
Kann ich einfach nicht glauben. Lediglich wieder Pushergerücht.

Tuerk
alle,

diesen beitrag von don-diego habe ich gerade im thread "nebenan" gefunden. er ist in diesem zusammenhang sehr interessant. langsam rundet sich das bild ab.

mfg
zelig

H@llo @llerseits, junkstro und ZO

Zitat:
Auf Nachfrage bestätigte die Sprecherin, dass die Verhandlungen
im Bereich der Technik ins Stocken geraten seien.
Zitatende


Und hier die Uebersetzung aus dem Journalisten Deutsch:

Die Technik hat die Verhandlungen gestoppt!!


d.h. es kann sein, dass die Technik nicht den bisherigen Erwartungen entspricht.

..., dass sie nicht fristgerecht in der angebotenen Form geliefert werden kann.

..., dass es neue Angebote mit besserer Technik gibt


Dass mit Technik die STB angesprochen ist, sollte nicht zu Diskussionen fuehren-
ansonsten haette man nicht in der Presseveroeffentlichung beibehalten, dass die
ersten 100.000 Haushalte bereits in 5 Wochen anschlussfaehig sind. Am Netzwerk
und den Kabelmassnahmen sowie den Hausanschluessen kann es keinesfalls liegen.
Serverproblme scheinen noch abwegiger - also bleibt fuer ``Technik`` nur die STB uebrig!


das muss nichts weltbewegendes heissen - A B E R :


zum Einen sieht man, dass es innerhalb eines Konsortiums nicht
einfach ist, Terminierungen auch punktgenau zu erfuellen....


zum Anderen kann ein technischer Laie, der die Met@box1000 live erlebt hat
schon ermessen, welches innovative Wunderwerk diese box ist -

dass jedoch die Spezialisten aus Technik und Entwicklung fuer iTV, eines
grossen Kabelnetzbetreibers diese STB fuer analoges UND digitales TV aus
dem Hause Met@box mit voellig anderen Augen sehen, sei unbestritten.

Dass nur diese Fachleute wie kein Anderer beurteilen koennen, was der Markt
ueberhaupt in der Lage ist herzugeben, jetzt - sofort, mittelfristig und langfristig.

Der Unterschied wird gewaltig, wenn man bereits im Jannuar 2001 an die
100.000 user netzwerkseitig umgeruestet hat. Wenn man sich aus Gruenden
von anderen, finanziellen Konzernverflechtungen fuer eine bestimmte STB
entscheiden musste.

Wenn nun nachhaltig erkennbar geworden ist, dass diese STB nicht nur in technologischer
Hinsicht einer Met@box1000 voellig unterlegen ist, dass sie darueber hinaus bis zum
Jahresende 2001 noch immer nicht geliefert wird und man mit der Inbetriebnahme des
gesamten Netzes ein ganzes Jahr in Verzug geraet.

Das generiert Handlungsbedarf!!!!

Wie oben bereits erwaehnt, man muss nicht alles oder nichts
in diese neue Situation hinein interpretieren -

jedoch eines ist voellig klar:

Waere mit der Technik der urspruenglich geplanten STB alles in Ordnung -

haette die Technik nicht die Verhandlungen gestoppt!
Dass man unter Zeitdruck handelt - steht ausser Frage.

Wer weiss es schon genau -
vielleicht sind wir noch froh darueber,
dass sich die IN - Verhandlungen verzoegern -
die zugehoerigen Auslieferungen verschieben -
aber schon die Produktionsstrassen fuer Vollast zur Verfuegung stehen......

moeglicherweise verzoegert ein gewisser ....... - ganz gerne....

insoferne hat eine bestimmte Koketterie mit einem Inlandsauftrag
in der Groessenordnung von Internordic nicht nur ihren besonderen
Reiz, sondern auch eine gewisse, reale Grundlage........

daruber - sollten wir nachdenken und manches wird runder....

CIAO
DonDiego
Knock, knock.
Who`s there?
Opportunity.
No way, man. Opportunity only knocks once.
Question:
What weighs nothing, can be seen with the human eye,
but if you put it in something it will make it weigh less?
not quite the same:

its more powerful than god
its more evil then the devil
poor people have it
rich people want it
What is it?
Hooksie,

hat Domi in seinem AB gesagt, dass er in Urlaub fährt?

Aber hat sich ja jetzt erledigt... Heißt aber nicht, dass Du recht hattest... ;)

@snoopy,

i don´t know.
please tell me.

MfG
Rock
@rock@box,
für mich hörte sich das so an. aber nun kann es ja bald losgehen, will aber morgen nochmal zukaufen.
domeyer wird mitsamt der phönix aus der asche steigen und einer der wenigen sein, die 2001 den nm dom(y)nieren werden-siehe intershop, da kann ich mir eine gewisse schadenfreude nicht verkneifen.:)
einen schönen tag noch, hooksie
a) a hole
b) nothing

in no way aiming at Met@box. :)
(allusion to derUnsichtbare)
Adam:
hey God, great deeds done, my deep respect.
seems to me you are really almighty.
by the way, i bet you can`t vanish forever!

sfb :D
Hi guys!

I`m so sorry, unfortunately it`s impossible for me to top my last postings, so i decided to nose dive into triviality:

so here we go:

Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: So she wouldn`t fall in the hot chocolate.

Q: What`s the difference between an elephant and grass?
A: They`re both green, except the elephant.

Q: How do elephants get up into oak trees?
A: They sit on an acorn and wait.

Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks!!

Q: Why do elephants paint their balls red?
A: to hide in cherry trees.

Q: How did Tarzan die?
A: Picking cherries.

Q: What`s more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of your car?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in the back seat of your car!

please join in
sfb.
Goooooood evening ladies & gents,

let`s go on, no mercy:

Bill`s all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear
hunting in Alaska. The first bear he sees is a little brown bear,
and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder,
and he turns around to see a big black bear. The black bear
says "You`ve got 2 choices. One, I maul you to death or Two,
we have sex."

Bill bends over for the bear. He`s sore for 2 days, but he recovers
and vows revenge. Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he
finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on
his shoulder. A huge grizzly is standing right behind him. The grizzly
says, "That was a big mistake. You`ve got 2 choices, "Either I maul
you to death or we have sex."

Bill bends over. He survives, but he`s really hurting and takes quite
a bit of time to recover, and, he`s outraged. Sure enough, he heads
back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank
range. There`s a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an
enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says,
"You don`t really come here for the hunting, do you?"


try to avoid the bears. :)
sfb.
Yeaaah, gimme more!!!
Damit dieser Thread, wenn auch sinnlos, wenigstens unsere Englischkentnisse quasi spielerisch erweitert.

Also, go Snoopy go!!!
Vieleicht "sehen" wir uns mal im Chat ;)



Hier noch der Link auf die Quelle, ist was für schlechte Börsenzeiten.

http://www.imperium.de/chauvi/chatten.jpg



Gruß Biologica
Howdy,

what a nice day, MBX is jumping and has (hopefully) found it`s bottom.

@biologica
nice pic, here`s another one from that page:



and last but not least a new joke:

Little Johnny came home from school with a note from his teacher,
indicating that "Johnny seems to be having some difficulty with the
differences between boys and girls," and would his mother,
"please sit down and have a talk with Johnny about this."
Johnny`s mother quietly took him by the hand, upstairs to her bedroom,
and closed the door. She said, "First, Johnny, I want you to take off
my blouse..." Little Johnny unbuttoned her blouse and took it off.
She continued, "Now take off my skirt..." He removed her skirt.
"Take off my bra..." which he did.
"And now, Johnny, please take off my panties."
When Johnny had finished removing his mother`s panties, she said,
"Johnny, PLEASE don`t wear any of my clothes to school any more!"

ciao
sfb
Hi,

seems to me that jokes under the standard lead to friendly quotes.
So let`s have another try:


Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar
but he didn`t have a lighter so he asked his friend if he had one.

"I sure do," he replied and reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch BIC lighter.

"Wow!" said his friend, "where did you get that monster."

"I got it from my genie."

"You have a genie," he asked?

"Yes, he`s right here in my golf bag." He opens his golf bag and out pops the genie.

The friend says, "I`m a good friend of your master. Will you grant me one wish?"

"Yes I will," the genie said, so he asks him for a million bucks
and the genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing
there waiting for his million bucks. Suddenly the sky begins to
darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.

The friend tells his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks not ducks!"

He answers, "I forgot to tell you the genie is hard of hearing.
Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch BIC?"


... and to be shure:


A guy walks into a bar, flanked by a cat on one side and an ostrich on the other.
"Right then" he says to his furry accomplices, "what are we drinking then?"
The cat says "I will have a gin and tonic, but I`m NOT PAYING!"
"Fine" says the man, "and what would you like Mr Ostrich?"
"I`ll have an orange juice please" says the ostrich.
The next night the same bloke walks into the bar again, and sure enough, his two furry friends are with him again.
"Right then, what are you two drinking tonight?"
The cat says "I`ll have a gin and tonic, but I`M NOT PAYING!"
"Fine" says the man "be like that."
"And what would you like Mr Ostrich?"
"I`ll have an orange juice please."
So he orders the drinks.
Sure enough the guy comes in again the next night, and sure enough the same scenario is played out.
The barman is very curious by this time
"Why do you keep comimg in here with that nasty cat and that damn bird?" says the barman.

"Well, says the man, I was walking home last week, when this genie appeared from an alley.
He said to me "You have lead a good life, so I am here to grant you one wish, anything you desire."
"So I asked for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy."


ciao
sfb.
Hello to everyone,

here are two joke for the little rebell in us:


There was a little boy playing in the living room with his
new Electric Train set that he`d just gotten for Christmas.
His mother was in the kitchen doing dishes.

The mother heard the train stop and heard her son bellow
out, "All you sons-a-bitches that want to disembark do it
now. Any of you bastards who want to get on had better get
going cause we`re fixin` to leave."

Stunned, his mother immediately dropped what she was doing
and ran into the living room. She yanked her son up and
said, "We don`t use that kind of language in this house
young man! Now you can go up to your room and you can come
out in two hours after you`ve thought about your behavior."

The little boy went to his room and returned to the living
room in two hours and started playing with his train again.
The mother heard the train stop and the little boy say,
"I would like to thank those of you leaving for traveling
with us today. Please don`t forget to take your personal
items with you. For those of you boarding the train, please
store your personal items under your seats or in the
overhead bins. We will be leaving shortly."

His mother was just as proud as a mother could be. Her
heart full of pride, she heard him continue, "And those of
you who are pissed off about the two hour delay, please
see the bitch in the kitchen."


and the second one:


An obviously upset woman visits her pastor. She pleads, "Father, Father, my
children just will not stop cursing. I`ve done everything I know to stop them.
You`re my last hope, what can I do?"

The Father said "Well, have you considered smacking the boys?"

The mother, wide-eyed, replied, "Oh no Father, I thought the Church would frown upon that!"

The Father responded, "In severe cases, we do allow it.
The next time your sons curse, why don`t you try it?"

The mother said "O.K. Father, If the Lord permits it."

The next morning little Johnny and little Jimmy come down to breakfast and the mother asks,
"Little Johnny, what would you like for breakfast this morning?"

Little Johnny says, "I don`t know. Give me some fucking waffles."
Well with that, the mother smacked little Johnny across the face and he slid down the
wall to the floor. Little Jimmy, the younger of the boys, watched in horror.

The mother turned and asked ,"Little Jimmy, what would you like for breakfast this morning?"

Little Jimmy looks at his brother on the floor, looks back at his mother, and replies,
"I don`t know but you can bet your sweet ass I don`t want no fucking waffles."


wish you a good start into the week and MBX well above 5€.

ciao
sfb.
gooooood evening to all friends of a cold beer,

The Beer Prayer:
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, the bitter, and the lager.
Barmen.

Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn`t drive.
No further testing is planned.

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two - one to say "She`ll be right mate" and one to fetch the beers.

A Guide for the Un-Initiated to Buying Guinness in an Irish Pub
Choose your pub carefully. A pint of Guinness does not appreciate loud music, loud people or bright flashing lights.
Ask politely for a pint of Guinness. Depending on the pub, it is possible to catch the barmans eye and mouth the word "pint", he will translate this accurately.
The barman will fill the glass between 70% and 80% capacity. It will then be put to the side for a few moments to allow it "to settle". Once the brownish liquid has almost turned to a solid black the barman will then fill the rest of the glass. NB: do not under any circumstances take the glass before it is filled. Some virgins seem to think that the settling stage is the final stage and walk away with an unfinished pint. At this point we Irish DO understand the predicament, but I assure you it causes endless mirth as well.
Once you have received your pint, find a comfortable stool or seat, gaze with awe into the deep blackness, raise the pint to your mouth and take a large mouthful. Be firm.
A good pint can distinguished by a number of methods. A smooth, slightly off- white head is one, another is the residue left on the inside of the glass. These, surpise surprise, are known as rings. As long as they are there you know your`re okay. A science of rings is developing - the instance that comes to mind is determining a persons nationality by the number of rings (a ring is dependent on a swig of Guinness each swig leaving it`s own ring). An Irishman will have in the region of 5-6 rings (we pace ourselves), an Englishman will have 8-10 rings, an American will have 17-20 (they sip) and an Australian won`t have any at all as they tend to knock it back in one go!
As you near the end of your pint, it is the custom to order another one. It is a well known fact that a bird does not fly on one wing.

WARNING: more is about to come. :D

ciao
sfb.
a friendly hello to everybody,

no time to waste any time, let`s start right now:


An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a
young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.

As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his
voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy
nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn`t seen
a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants.
If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and
pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I`m so
relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he
thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking butt!"


"Mom, I`m pregnant."

"How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?"

"That I should take measures. That`s what I did,
I took measures and then went with the biggest."


An Australian was walking down a country road in New
Zealand, when he happened to glance over the fence
and see a farmer going` at it with a sheep.

The Aussie is quite taken aback by this, so he climbs the
fence and walks over to the farmer. He taps him on the shoulder
and says, "You know mate, back home, we shear those!"

The New Zealander looks frantically around and says,
"I`m not bloody Shearing this with no one!"


every day should have a motto,
the one for today is:
drink `til you stink! :D

ciao
sfb.
Hello,

now you`re very likely going to learn some new meaning of words that your english teacher would never admit to know.
If you don`t like dirty jokes, don`t read any further, thanks.


The BabeMaster walks into an extremely posh restaurant, sits down and waves the waiter over. `I want to see the cock-sucking, mother-fucking boss now` he says. The waiter is naturally a bit taken aback and replies `excuse me sir, would you refrain from using that kind of language in here, I will get the manager as soon as I can`.

The manager comes over and The BabeMaster says ` Are you the chicken fucking manager of this bastarding whorehouse joint?`.

"Yes sir I am` replies the manager, `but I would prefer you not to use that kind of vernacular in this restaurant, there are private parties and clients entertaining in here`.

The BabeMaster replies `Fuck you! Cock breath anus face, where`s the fucking piano?`.

The manager is a bit puzzled and asks The BabeMaster to clarify the situation.

`Where`s the fucking piano, are you fucking deaf or what, you smelly felching cunt?`

`Ah` says the manager `You"ve come about the pianist job I ran in the paper`.

`Too fucking right, ya shiny scrotum bag` The BabeMaster replies.

The manager tentatively takes The BabeMaster over to the piano and begs him not to speak into the microphone. `Can you play any blues?` the manager asks. The BabeMaster starts to play the most beautiful blues ever heard.

`That`s superb`` gasps the manager, `What is it called?`

`I want to shag your missus on the sofa but the springs keep hurting my cock end` replies The BabeMaster.

The manager is a bit disturbed. `Well, do you know any jazz?` asks the manager a bit perplexed. The BabeMaster plays the most melancholy jazz solo the manager has ever heard. `Absolutely magnificent` cries the manager, `What is that called?``

`I wanked over the washing machine but my balls got caught in the soap dispenser` replies The BabeMaster.

The manager is a tad embarrassed at this one. `Oh I say, do you know any romantic ballads?` asks the manager getting flustered. Then The BabeMaster plays the most heartbreaking melody ever. `That was fantastic` crooned the manager, `What is that one called?`

`Shagging sheep under the stars with the moonlight shining on my hairy ring piece` replies The BabeMaster.

The manager is highly upset at The BabeMaster`s language but is so moved by his music that he offers The BabeMaster a job on the condition That he does not introduce any of the songs. The BabeMaster accepts.

The arrangement goes swimmingly for a couple of weeks when one night The BabeMaster gets very horney and desperate to jack off. He leaves the restaurant and goes to the staff toilets. Strangely there is a magazine stuffed behind the bowl.

The BabeMaster retrieves it and discovers it`s a good old Jack mag. He naturally has a swift one off the wrist. As he is cumming he hears the manager shouting. `Where the pissing fuck is that fucking pianist?` The BabeMaster whips up his trousers, returns to the restaurant and begins playing some more tunes.

After a couple of minutes a woman approaches him and whispers `Do you know your balls and knob are hanging out of your trousers dribbling jism all over your shoes?

`The BabeMaster replies `Know it? I fucking wrote it !!`

:D
good ol` days:

It`s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He`s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl`s father answers and invites him in.

"Carrie`s not ready yet, so why don`t you have a seat?," he says. "That`s cool" says Bobby. Carrie`s father asks Bobby what they`re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

Carrie`s father responds "why don`t you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally, this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby and therefore he asks Carrie`s Dad to repeat it. "Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she`ll screw all night if we let her!"

Well, this just made Bobby`s eyes light up, and his plans for the evening were beginning to look pretty good.

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she`s ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door. About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:

"DAMMIT DADDY! IT`S CALLED THE TWIST!!!"



(well, it took me a little time ...
... the dance is not called "screw")
sfb.
Hi guys,

fucking bad quotes for MBX,
but let me tell ya,
it could become worse if you take the wrong step:

An insurance salesman tired of being broke all of the time tries to make big by second mortgaging his house and buying a pound of cocaine to sell. But bummer, he tries to sell to an undercover cop.

He winds up in a prison cell with a huge monster of a man, totally ripped, hairy and smelly, totally covered in prison tattoos.

As the former salesman tries to introduce himself he is interrupted by the big con.

"I`ll tell you what we`re gonna` to do," the con says. "We`re gonna` play house, do you want to be the momma, or the daddy?" The con asks.

"Well," the salesman says in a meek voice. Thinking that there is no fucking way that he wants the part of the mommy with this big mother-fucker he says, "I`ll be the daddy."

"Well then," says the con, "then how bout` you coming on over here and sucking old momma`s dick?"


keep clean. :D
Mein Verstand undBauch sagt mir, daß ich mir keine Sorgen machen muß, eher das Gegenteil und das ist gut so
Hi!

no gabbling, just a little joke for today:

A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Ribbit. 9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn`t see anyone. "Ribbit. 9 Iron." He looks at the frog and decides to prove the frog wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked. He says to the frog, "Wow that`s amazing. You must be a lucky frog, eh?" The frog reply`s "Ribbit. Lucky frog."

The man decides to take the frog with him to the next hole. "What do you think frog?" The man asks. "Ribbit. 3 wood." The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn`t know what to say.

By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game of golf in his life and asks the frog, "OK where to next?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. Las Vegas." They go to Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK frog, now what?" The frog says, "Ribbit. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks," What do you think I should bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit. $3000, black 6." Now, this is a million-to-one shot to win, but after the golf game, the man figures what the heck and lays it down. Boom black 6!!! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel. He sits the frog down and says, "Frog, I don`t know how to repay you. You`ve won me all this money and I am forever grateful. " The frog replies, "Ribbit, Kiss Me." He figures why not, since after all the frog did for him he deserves it. With a kiss, the frog turns into a gorgeous nude 15-year-old girl.

"And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room." He says.

:laugh::laugh::laugh:
here`s another one:

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball, don`t knock out any windows. It`ll cost us a fortune to fix."

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let`s go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a very unique looking broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man sitting on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.

"No, actually I want to thank you. I`m a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You`ve released me. I`m allowed to grant three wishes- I`ll give you each one wish, and I`ll keep the last one for myself."

"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." "No problem, it`s the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife. "I would like a house in every country of the world," she said.

"Consider it done." the genie replied.

"And what`s your wish, genie?", the husband said.

"Well, since I`ve been trapped in that bottle, I haven`t had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don`t care." The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband anyway?"

"35." she replied.

"And he still believes in genies?....That`s amazing."

sfb.
Time is Nature`s way of making sure that everything doesn`t go wrong at once.
Mommy, Mommy! Why`s everybody running?
Shut up and reload.



A man was driving along the highway, and saw a rabbit hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of the car and was hit. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road and got out to see what had become of the rabbit.

Much to his dismay, the rabbit was dead. The driver felt so awful he began to cry.

A woman driving down the highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

"I feel terrible," he explained. "I accidently hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew what to do. She went to her car trunk and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead rabbit, and sprayed the contents of the can onto the rabbit.

Miraculously, the rabbit came to life, jumped up, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped down the road. 50 metres away the rabbit stopped, turned around, waved at the two again, hopped down the road another 50 metres, turned, waved, and hopped another 50 metres.

The man was astonished. He couldn`t figure out what substance could be in the woman`s spray can! He ran over to the woman and demanded, "What was in your spray can? What did you spray onto that rabbit?"

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label.

It said: "`Hare Spray` Restores Life to Dead Hare. Adds Permanent Wave."



well, at first I thought either one of this two little jokes must be a subtle hint to solve our problems concerning this wretched little company called metabox.

Right now I`m not so sure.

Has anyone a joke about the four horseman?


Beitrag zu dieser Diskussion schreiben


Es handelt sich hier um eine ältere Diskussion, daher ist das Schreiben in dieser Diskussion nicht mehr möglich. Bitte eröffnen Sie hier eine neue Diskussion.